Future Shock

So today, this morning, I find out that a very smart, witty, caring, and independent woman who caught my eye on the Cottonwood on Memorial Weekend, whom I’ve been emailing like a dog chasing a bone… this woman shares with me that she has a roommate.

Not so bad — I kinda suspected as much — but still, its enough to put a damper on things.

Then, this evening, after last week having spent time in her home, a couple of evening meals, time goofing with her kids, time with just us grownups talking as grownups do… after having come to believe that she finally saw the light and took my advice and got rid of The Bob, after letting my heart believe she might actually see that I’ve been here all along… I went to see Road’s daughters’ dance recital this evening. And when it was all over with, she caught me in the isle (she didn’t invite me to sit with her) — okay, passed by me on her way to the stage — and thanked me for coming, then went to wait with The Bob for her daughters to get their act together and leave the auditorium.

I should have expected that. It was her oldest daughter who invited me to the recital in the first place.

While standing there, trying not to stare and trying not to make air-sucking sounds back in my chest, a high-school classmate walked up and said, “Hi! How are you doing?”

After a pause: “Well, at this very moment I feel horse-kicked, but otherwise life is grand. How are you?” We talked about our class reunion next year while I tried not to think about the crush I had on this woman in high school.

Needless to say, on my 20 minute drive home, I thought alot about pulling my flag in, taking down my shingle, and packing it all in (dating all, not ALL all).

And then I get home and check my email, and find I do have friends who love me afterall, even from the other side of the world…

And I’m feeling much better, thank you. A good nights rest and I should be golden.

But it doesn’t change that I have a crisis approaching of somekind. Some change is going to be required. I’m not sure what, or how. But these are concussion waves from some future shock. I predict August. August 18? 12? 21?…somewhere in there…