Molly Ann

My sweet, sweet baby. May she rest in peace.

We put my cat, Molly down today. She had been with me since I was 5 years old. That’s nineteen years. She came to us in 1989 just before Hurricane Hugo. At first our older cat would beat her up, dad tried to run her off…but she stuck. She was a fiesty little kitten and she had decided she would make us her family.

I loved her so much. She was always my favorite cat, even though she was also the most ill-tempered. Once, on my 7th birthday I was carrying her over to my friends at my party so they could meet her…and she got scared and tried to get away. She was sucessful in escaping my grasp and scratching my stomach rather badly. I still have that scar to this day. I love that scar.

She lived with my parents for 18 years, until I moved in to my apartment last year. At that time I felt that Miss Molly needed to be inside. She had been an outdoor kitty all her life and the sun had taken it’s toll on her white ears. She had developed squamous cell carcinoma and was obviously getting too old to be outside through the winter.

She lived with Paco and me in my apartment for the last year. She and Paco didn’t really get along but she was always rather grumpy.

I just can’t believe she’s gone. I can’t believe….I did that. I mean…working at the vets for years I’ve seen plenty of pets be put to sleep…I didn’t realize how bad it hurts until it was mine.

Dad cried.

That’s what really got me.

My eyes hurt from crying all day. And I’ve eaten more chocolate chip cookies than any 12 children should in a month.

And I just want a hug.

I can’t believe she’s gone. I feel so bad. I feel like…I played God. But she was so sick…and…I didn’t want her to hurt.

I did the right thing, right?

I’m sorry. This is the first time I’ve really lost a pet….the last time I was only 11 or 12…and I don’t remember.

My daddy cried.

That just kills me.

This…just sucks. No other real way to put it.

I love you, Molly.