Where’s My Luggage?!

If you have ever asked this question to airline personnel, I assure you they lied to you.  Let ME tell you where your luggage was when asking this question:  IT’S LYING ON THE FREEKING TARMAC!!  haha!  I was taking the shuttle from one terminal to another in Dallas when I saw one piece of luggage lying on the tarmac…then another…then another…then another…

The funniest thing (in a sick way) was that the dudes who drive our luggage from the terminal to the plane on those little cars which tow carts and look like a ‘choo-choo’ trains kids ride at parks…you know they type.   The drivers of the luggage transporters NEVER stopped!!!   haha!  They just kept driving back and forth in total oblivian!  If I were a Columbian Drug Cartel and was dependant upon my ‘package’ arriving and lost a couple of kilos do to the extremely poor packing skills of such employees, I believe I’d have my henchmen take action!  Think of all the enormous illegal drug profits which are in jeapordy due to incompetent airline staff!  Geesh!  I think the airline staffers should think of the little people living in third world countries taking extremely great risks of permanent incarceration in prison while supplying those airport cart drivers with ‘product’.  I know the cart drivers are on something when they drive back and forth past the tarmac baggage with tunnel vision due to usage of various products. 

My flight to DCA was pretty uneventful.  I sat next to a really nice man who is a Texan.  When he sat next to me, he said something…I wasn’t sure if he was possessed and speaking in tongues or was a foreigner.  Once I learned he is a Texan, I understood.  I kept trying to turn the conversation to weapons of mass destruction  with hopes of hearing him say the word ‘nuclear’.  I was curious if all Texans say it like George W. or if George is just fucked up; I think it’s probably the latter. 

When I arrived at DCA, I jumped in a cab and headed to my brother’s place.  I initiated a conversation with the taxi driver and learned he is an Afghan.  I told him the cities I worked in during the ongoing war.  Turns out his father was from Jalalabad where I’d also worked.  Talking about his mother land…actually, I think any country in the Middle East should be called ‘father land’ because god knows how much they oppress the women in those places!  Anyway, cabby dude began ranting and raving about bin Laden and how he’s hiding in Pakistan, then he began shouting  about the Pakistanis.  haha!  Sort of freeked me out!  Then the car died.  He said with his thick Pastu accent that it will only take a couple of minutes for the car to start up again.  Although the engine was dead, I noted that there didn’t seem to be any problems with the still functioning/racking up money meter.  I guess he thought I was a tourist; hit the nail on the head!  ha!

Speaking of the oppression of women, for the sake of the asshole men running around certain countries on planet Earth, I sure would like to see Hillary elected.  Man!   Can you imagine?!  A woman sitting in the throne of the most powerful position on Earth!  Put THAT in your pipe and smoke it, Abdullah!  Whenever I read about Rice doing her thing in foreigh countries, I always wish that I could read the minds of the men she must interact wtih!  First of all, she’s a woman.  Second of all, she’s a minority.  I think it’s pretty awesome and entertaining at the same time.  Those two facts must REALLY irritate leaders from other countries.  Sure…women tend to be a bit smarter than their male counter parts but lets face it, men are physically stronger (generally speaking).  Imagine what would go through the head of the leader of…ummm…lets say that total nut job running Iran.  Sitting across from a chick whose ass he KNOWS he could kick across the room…all the while knowing that she not only has her finger on the nuclear button, but she can also prnounce it word correctly!  Yes sir…I do believe that the election of a woman president of the U.S. would make for a very interesting time. 

 Imagine all of the feminist movements which would spring up all around the world!  Hillary tells the Afghans, "Lose the Burkhas cool dudes.  Let the chicks see the world without having to look through a mesh screen."  When they refuse, Hillary says, "NO MORE RICE FOR YOU!"  Cut off economic aid.   Yes, I do believe Hillary would be a world changing entity. 

I’m off in search of some good Mexican food.