40 Something…

I turned 40 today, and I must say that I really don’t mind.  When I was in high school, I was quite a skinny kid.  The weight class I wrestled was 132#!  LOL!  I could have wrestled 126#, but the guy at that weight was better than me so I moved up.  While all of my friends were bigger than me, I am quite happy that I was a ‘late bloomer’ now.  Perhaps I’m not objective, but I don’t think I look 40 which also presents a problem. 

Since most women think I’m much younger than I actually am, women my age tend to be playful but don’t give me the time of day when I pursue them for relationship purposes.  haha!  Then when I post a photo of my young girlfriend, those of you reading this…yes, I know what you’re thinking…you think I’m a dirty old man for going out with a younger chick!  ha!  Now I’m at the age where I don’t know if I should go for ‘mom’ or her daughter!

I went to Irbil and met with John yesterday.  I knew the company appreciates my compentency, but I wasn’t aware how much they valued having me here until yesterday.  I walked into his office where he was having a meeting about me with the site manager from Mosul.  John looked at me, and said, "YOU’RE FIRED!" as he waived my memorandum in the air above his head.  I told him, "I already beat you to the punch, cowboy."  He asked, "What do you want?"  I told him that I need time off work and that I’m no longer going to work the road anymore.  He told me that if I stay, the company is going to purchase me a round trip open-ended ticket and give me as much time off as I want, which I thought was very cool.  He also told me that he’d already spoken with the President of the company and offered me the position of Program Manager in the Green Zone.  The retired Colonel currently in the slot will be leaving in 59 days, and the slot is mine should I choose.  (I choose!)  I have wanted to get into upper management since I began this contracting business but never made it higher than Site Security Manager.  I’m pretty stoked about that.  Besides paying a hell of a lot more, it’ll open many doors for such positions with other companies in the future as well as an office job in extremely safe locations.  Yes…I’m pretty grateful. 

I must say that I was quite displeased with the reaction of some of my co-workers when they found out that the company is giving me time off only two weeks after I returned from holiday.  When I was managing a sales company and people would bitch about special treatment I’d give excellent sales people, my response was, "If you want to be treated special, be special."  I totally believe this.  I have worked very hard in this line of work and have always volunteered to take on additional duties and responsibilities…not because of work ethic, but because of evading complete boredom!  haha!  When I was assigned to be fleet manager for the vehicles here, I thought it was quite funny since the only thing I know about a vehicle is where to put the gas…and with some models, even THAT is difficult!  I am the least handy man you will ever meet, but I am very good at managing personalities.  A week into the job, John was still Program Manager here.  He and his incompetent sidekick Scott came into my room and said, "Hey dude…you really don’t need to be putting in so many hours…we don’t expect so much."  I was quite serious with my reply:  "I am only doing this much work so that the vehicles will be up to par.  After a couple of weeks, good luck finding me! 

I’m leaving today.  I met with the Pesh Merka last night and said my farewells.  I don’t think we really realize the bonds or impact we’ve had on peoples’ lives until they are gone or until we are about to leave.  Several of the men began crying…puts tears back into my eyes as I recall the event.  I have fought on the battlefield with several of them for the past sixteen months.  There is a very special type of bond created among men who endure life and death situations whilst standing shoulder to shoulder in the heat of the moment.  I can’t possible beging to relate to you just how strong a bond is created when you have been through the Valley of Death together and lived…time and time again.  Sierone, Izad, Ali…it was most difficult to say goodbye to those men; they were my first fire team when I initially arrived.  When we used to make nightly runs to Tel Affar, we were hit almost every single night.  I shall miss them greatly.  In this environment, we contractors call each other Brother…we are Brothers in Arms.  There is an understanding of each other that I have never experienced outside of a battle environment.  Two of the men are expecting children; they told me they will name their children after me.  I thought – good luck with that!  Poor bastard is going to get his ass handed to him on a daily basis whilst on the playground at his Iraqi school!  haha! 

I’m off.  I’ll be heading to Thailand to see Jimlim, then slide down to the island of Koh Samui for a week of diving.  I’m then jumping on a train and heading to Viet Nam via Cambodia.  At some point I’ll be going to Spain to visit my friend Adrianna who is currently studdying there where her twin.  I haven’t seen her for a couple of years and am quite excited.  I’m then headed to the African continent for a bit…perhaps Egypt, dive the Red Sea, Morocco, Kenya, Tanzania, and a cage dive off of Cape Town with Great White sharks. 

I must say that I’m not sad to be leaving.  While we have lost no Americans from my team, I have lost a few buddies down south…it’s never easy.  In all honesty, I became scared here.  I was never scared before.  Mary sent me an email yesterday and said that she’d asked Richard if he thought I had a silent death wish…I don’t.  I just didn’t care one way of the other.  I felt so completely alive every time I went outside the wire or pulled the trigger or heard an explosion or gunfire.  I really thrived on it.  I’m not quite certain, but I think I fell in love with someone and this resulted in my fear because I am now thinking of the impact my death would have on her.  Despite the rollercoaster I had when I was in Thailand this last time, we have spent hours on phone calls.  I didn’t realize that when she called me, she was using her mom’s phone!  haha!  She got busted three days ago when the phone bill arrived!  Her mom is quite pissed!  We’ll see what happens. 

Peace

"It’s not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or when the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions and spends

himself in a worth cause; who at the best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement; and who at the worst if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory or defeat."
Theodore Roosevelt

Randy-OUT