Unearthly Exit

Sometimes I must discharge my anger for some things that happen while I’m traveling and simply sit back and have a good laugh at some of the odd things that happen to me when I travel.

When I awoke this morning, I went to the front desk of the hotel and made arrangements for transport to the airport at 1545hrs; I was assurred transport would be there.  When I arrived at the front desk, there was no transportation or notes from the previous front desk staff regarding my transport.  I went outside and waited for a taxi to happy by.  I was relieved when one finally stopped curb-side until I got in the back seat.

The interior of the car smelled like a dank speakeasy poker club from the Roaring 20’s which was located in the stinky warfs of the Chicago Bay area.  As soon as I entered, the cabbie from hell immediatly lit up.  I didn’t say anything and simply rolled down my window to let the cigarette smoke escape.  As we approached the first major intersection, he touched his foot to the brakes, and my ears experienced the freakish sound of metal rubbing on metal due to bad brakes which should have been changed about 80,000 miles ago; it gave me the same cringing sensation as do nails on a chalk board.  This wouldn’t have been a big issue until we got on the freeway and I saw his lack of driving skills. 

I attempted to drown out the experience by putting in my headphones and turning my MP3 player all the way up.  This worked until he glanced in his rear mirror and cranked up the car stereo all the way because, I think, he felt I wanted to hear music.  I asked him to turn it down, and he complied but then turned it back up after a kilometer or so; I gave up and put my MP3 away.

There is no speed limit in Thailand:  None.  Doesn’t matter where you are, no limit.  This man elected to excercise his right to fly most of the way to the airport.  He continually accellerated and tail-gaited, then would slam on the brakes, which resulted in the metal on metal sound. 

Taking his eyes off the roadway, he would adjust the stereo until we came dangerously close to a guard rail; I would say, "HEY!"  He would look at the road, over-compensate to the left, then fidget with the radio until we repeated this process until he had to pee.

When he said he had to pee, I groaned something under my breath.  I thought he would get off the freeway…nope.  stop on the side of the road and whip it out.  That was the easiest way for him.  haha! 

After several more near miss traffic accidents, I finally got in his ass about his lack of driving skills.  He slowed the car to a safe speed, and we continued on.

I believe this is my 5th trip to Oz.  I have always received my entry visa when I enter.  I never before had to apply for one prior to flying.  Perhaps they changed their laws due the all of the things going on in the world.  When I arrived at the check-in, I was informed that I needed to have a visa prior to flying.  I about crapped myself.  I thought – ok…I’m going to be stuck in a hotel in Bangkok for the holidays and lose the money I paid for the trip.  I gave the best sales presentation of my life.  I told them I’d flown there numerous times in the past, and they immediatly began flipping through my fairly recently issued passport, which I obtained on my last trip to Oz.  The current passport only has my last exit from Oz.  Fortunately, I still possess my old passport.  Unfortunately, the manager was standing nearby.  I used my DOD I.D. and told the lady I am a Diplomat.  I was SOOO sure it was going to work; then the manager came over.  He informed me that I needed to apply for a visa before flying.  UGH!

I went to an internet cafe located in the airport and went to the site of Oz immigration.  I was able to apply for a visa online and received immediate approval!!  WHOO HOO!  I printed my receipt and returned to the counter and was granted a boarding pass.

Since I still had minutes left on the pre-paid internet, I returned to the cafe and saw a man and woman just sit down.  I gave them my user serial number and told them that I no longer had need of the remaining minutes.  The man said, "Cheers mate…are you in a hurry?"  I told them no.  He said, "We have never used a computer before, and we are in need of an Australian visa.  Our plane leaves at 1930hrs (my flight)."  While it’s difficult to believe, I think it’s awesome that there are people in the world who don’t use the internet.  We were able to sort out their mess and off they went.

I feel much better now.  I entered the airport area, took a shower, and am sipping a glass of Jack in honor of my host Ken.  He collects JD and has quite the collection.  I just picked him up a bottle of Silver Select because I know he won’t touch his stash.  haha