Desperate Times…

What can I do? I’m a hundred miles away. I can give you moral support. I can provide semi-logical thinking from stepped-back point of view. You have no idea I much I feel your anguish, your hurt. I wanted to cry today because of what you told me. Because I could feel your pain echoing through the phone. I’ve grown up alot these past few months. I see what I’ve done wrong. I want to cry because of it. Because I know I’ve hurt you when you loved me. I cannot take it back. All I can do is ask forgiveness. All I can do is try my hardest to be the man you hoped I’d become. I’m so sorry for what things have come to. I’ll help in anyway I can… how can I?

I want to help you. Thank you for all you’ve given me over these years. Thank you for taking all the crap I’ve given you. You didn’t deserve one bit of it…. I didn’t deserve one bit of what you gave me either… even though I used to think I had a right to it.

I know you’ll never read this, but I just wanted to say thank you for loving me.

I love you too, mom.