3/15/06

You have been the one to challenge me, to tell me when im wrong. I guess i respect you for it, in a way. I had no idea that things would be like this, i have no idea what went wrong, only thing is it seems like nothing went right either. I knew what would happen right from the start, i have a thing for expecting events, and then they ususally happen. this one definatly did. again and again. once more im not sure if i should respect you for that, or scream bastard at you everytime i see you. which isnt often.

i had a dream last night that my mum was talking to your mum, and your mum was crying and trying to protect you from what everyone was saying, everyone was saying what a fucking loser you are, that you deserve to die, and that underneath that polite confident image your just a  bastard who deserves to rot in hell with the rest of your mates, everyones saying theyr glad you got chucked out the band, and that what ever happens they dont ever want to see you again. your mum was crying and trying to stand up for you, my mum was hugging her and trying to calm her down. then this big huge ball thing kept coming down from the ceiling and trying to crush me, they were talking and yelling still and didnt notice and i kept expecting you to turn up and help me but you never did.

it kept crushing down on me, but in the end i rolled out to the side and got away and the bearded long haired kind of spanish looking guy running it laughed and started picking on someone else. then thea this girl i went to school with came over and started dancing with me, we were dancing a really spinny dance and i was trying my best to stand up but i was so dizzy,

you came in at the end but by then i was so dizzy i passed out and your mum and my mum were gone.

it was a very draining dream

xXx