how does that make you feel?
she always asks me how i feel. and i never know. ”i dont know”, or just avoid the question and keep telling the story. In fact i get so wound up in the telling of what actually happened i forget to work out ‘how it makes me feel’.
feeling? well, as for feeling, im never sure, its not an emotion, its a tingly feeling in my legs, or a pain in the pit of my stomach, or an ache in my head, or a shortness of breath, its not exactly an emotion, its just a physical feeling, some discomfort.
i cant ever make myself sit down and think how i feel, i just keep telling that story. Those stories, everything that ever happened.
and more.
xXx
Hey! Me neither, I always think I can explain how I feel but it’s never in one word. Sometimes “diffident” cuts it, but that’s just a word and what you feel inside is more visual than a word can be. But words, are kind of like paints .. with different intensities and thickness, and some you can chew. I don’t know about you, but sometimes I don’t even know how I feel.
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Feelings are not tangible, like food or places. You can’t see them or hear them unless they’re in their physical manifestations, like punching screaming kicking shouting. They are abstract and relative to everyone. One persons pain may not be anothers, and people have different tolerances. It’s very confusing. Plus, people often hide there pain, and others cannot detect it.
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I can understand that. I dont often let myself become aware of how things make me feel, or if I do, I cant describe it.
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From the first line, I thought of a shrink’s office, or a kitchen table, mom on the other end with that luke warm cup of coffee.
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