Another small rant.

I really need to stop reading the interwebz for information on things regarding pregnancy. I can’t seem to stop myself from scrolling down to the comment section.

Regarding stay-at-home moms: If that’s what you really want to do, great. Go to it. But why do people seem to get so defensive and jumpy about it? It’s just like the labor and delivery thing, where people go on and on, forcefully, about how they were in unmedicated labor for eight gazillion hours and how people who need medication during childbirth are selfish and evil. To quote Laela: "F YOU!!"

This particular topic I was reading was supposed to be about managing pain during pregnancy. It’s hitting me hard the past several weeks, thanks to my tiny torso and mercilessly squashed lungs and stomach, and I’m tired of being told, "oh, that’s just the miseries of pregnancy" and "there’s really nothing that can be done about it" and "aww, everyone goes through this" so I was looking for some real answers rather than mindless platitudes. Basically, on these boards, you have these people just randomly saying how PROUD they are to be stay-at-home moms, and that they have never had a babysitter, nanny, or daycare. Off-topic, much? Again, are you expecting some sort of award? What in the name of God does this have to do with pain management? It’s just amazing. I personally would not want to be a stay-at-home mom, but I’m not going to force my opinions on someone else. I wonder what people would say if I went on one of these boards and loudly and argumentatively proclaimed how proud I am to be a part-time mother who works most of the day, and that I proudly have hired a nanny while I proudly have, I don’t know, a life of my own that’s not centered around family life. I will express my opinion, but I would NOT put someone else down for their choice, because that particular choice might not fit me. That whole "everyone is different" thing.

Isn’t this supposed to be 2011? So, why are people behaving like it’s 1950? These boards are the TOTAL throwback, and most of these people are in their 20’s and claim to be progressive, liberal-minded, and forward-thinking. To loosely paraphrase Rhett Butler in Gone With The Wind, it’s amazing how tightly people grasp old, outmoded ideas and refuse to change them, even when they’re not rational.

ryn: I love snow, but I really do hate it, simultaneously. If that’s even possible. (Maybe half of my brain thinks differently to the other?) I don’t go crazy over it though, it makes me feel claustrophobic when you get snowed in. Plus my dogs are small so you have to kind of dig them out all of the time ha ha. Speaking of quicksnow, “quicksand” is the perfect way to describe a mind slipping into those dark places. I totally agree about the reading and exercising thing too.. I actually read somewhere as to why those are beneficial for that kind of mood. I have always found it works but I never knew why. I totally agree about reading comments.. I’m a comment addict. Btw, why is it that all of the “best rated” comments really seem to be the WORST!!! In my opinion they are anyway… I think the comments you are describing definitely show an assumption that peoples experiences and lives are the exact same. When, as you rightly point out, they aren’t. Obviously every woman’s body is different for a start. Also stay-at-home situations don’t work for everyone! (it didn’t for my mum and I’m fine!). When challenged, don’t you notice people love to say “bu

It cut my note off 🙁 The end bit is supposed to say: When challenged, don’t you notice people love to say “but it’s traditional!” ?? Grr.

pintador

January 7, 2011

I’ve heard from another OD’er that the discussion boards on mothering/parenting/birthing are among the most vicious and argumentative groups on OD! Pretty ironic when you think about it. Sounds like you should just avoid them!

Laela

January 8, 2011

I feel you, I really do. I read through all the crap when I was frantically searching for info. And it’s really not possible to NOT want to find out as much information as possible. But in long run, here’s the thing: babies are born without meds, with meds, are breastfed, are bottle fed, stay at home until kindgergarten, go to daycare at 6 weeks …

… and none of that matters – nor is it anyone else’s business but the parents – because as long as the baby is loved and cared for, that’s IT. That’s all that is needed. But you’re right, some moms do want an award. They want the “WOW, HOW ARE YOU SO AMAZING?” I still don’t get that. Except for, you know, me being so amazing. Obviously they all want to be like me. 😉

Beingmorepositive

What the what! These people sound crazy on this board. How in the world does being a stay at home mom help others deal with pain, what fools! I checked out one message board about pregnancy out of curiosity on what to look forward to & read a ton of comments about how wrong it is not to breastfeed. I’m sorry but if it hurts us women too much, we shouldn’t be put down & insulted on being a bad mom

If anything us women should join together and be upbeat while dealing with the trials of puking, breastfeeding, toilet training, etc. I’m not so sure if I want to chat with others on boards when I’m pregnant, they sound so cruel.

Hey I just realised, I can see your friends only entries, but I don’t think I’m on your list because it doesn’t say so when I click on ‘friend of’.. Like this entry says friends only at the top.. Am I on your list or is there something wrong with the site? I just thought I should let you know in case I’m not supposed to be seeing this. Hope it’s ok.

ryn: Maybe it is playing up. ha ha that made me laugh — “so maybe there’s something wanky going on”. Well thank you for adding me. Panic over. (I know I sound like some daft drama queen but I was concerned in case you had not meant for me to see these posts). I will add you back and maybe you’ll appear on my ‘friend of’ list.

Yes that’s the right way to put it, they chop it down. Or they want to categorise things. Maybe that’s helpful for some people but personally I love to go into everything over and over and I kind of connect things so that makes them inseparable lol. If that makes sense? I’ve heard that about the food over there 🙁 not good. They have started to put something like Vaseline in ready made food over here (or at least that is what I have noticed). Ewww! It’s not appetizing. I’d rather make my own food but at the same time I’m not interested right now. My dog is ok thanks, he went to the vets today and they said he has heart failure. But they’re trying him on new pills.. All you can do really is try to improve their quality of life and prevent them from suffering.. You know? I hope everything is ok for you! Have you been coming across those weird/controlling/dictating pregnant women again? lol.

*Jeremy's*Girl*

January 17, 2011

I miss you ! You are pg ? i havent been on in months congratulations! Keep in touch dont forget about me i am going to try hard to update more

CookieBurglarLite

It’s not just pregnancy, it’s everything. I’ve actually made a resolution to STOP reading comments/forums because they are ALWAYS full of the same people and I just wind up feeling annoyed. The thing to remember is that it’s the people with the most extreme opinions that tend to be the most vocal about them! They’re best ignored.

That said, I think parenting is in a category with religion, politics, eating habits and driving, the category of “things that most people are sure they are know everything and are absolutely right about and everyone else is absolutely wrong.”