How to Tie a Knot

There a thousand things I want to say to you.
Some of them would be cool and somewhat stinging
but I have no place to say those just now.
I don’t mind them so much. Not now.
I would hope you wouldn’t, just as you would hope I wouldn’t hang out
                 -just hang out-
with him.
But it’s okay. We both take it in stride and tell ourselves
we trust each other.
We hope nothing is happening and we prefer not to know
not to think about the possibilities because the distrust is mutual.
When we are together, the bond is strong.
Apart it is weak, but I feel it better than before,
better than when I lived in that house haunted by a million words
spoken and unspoken.
My hope is that my future, my now will eventually lead to our doorstep.
I remember that all things are possible,
including not being together in the end.
Including being alone and sick, dying in a cold unloving room.
All things bare equal in possibility. It is only our chance
luck
karma
devotion
spirituality
whatevIt is our hope we can affect our future.
I smile and say of course.
My future is now.
My aspirations are of togetherness
with one who reflects me in all ways I can see;
we are the same mirror opposite.
That’s why I feel that final piece slide into place when you see me
the way I’ve always seen you.