To Stream Or Not To Stream

First off, along with everyone on OD’s main page that is talking about Spring (or lack there of) I stand right with you.

Two days ago, it was 77 degrees, and my husband and i wore t-shirts, shorts and sandals for the first time this year. It was so warm, we even slept with our bedroom window open to let in the breeze. And what do we wake up to??? I don’t have to explain. Needless to say, its all bs.

ANYWHO, i have recently created a Twitch and Picarto account. It has been suggested to me by a few people that they would love to watch what i do. One friend in particular told me that it was actually soothing on their part when we screen shared on our voice chats. So i thought, “What the hey,” and dived in.

I didn’t think i was going to be so freakin’ nervous on that first day. After i learned how to use OBS and stream onto my channel, i couldn’t seem to make straight lines or get my shapes just right. I only had about 3 people watch, and even that was fleeting, but it was beyond my expectations so i wasn’t mad.

The day after was when i actually spoke during my stream, and that was just awkward. Talking to yourself is one thing in private and there’s no one to hear. But when you talk in the chance that someone else could hear the nonsense that is spewing out of your brain, well that’s an entirely different thing. After a few more days and random streams, i got a little more comfortable, but i haven’t spoken again since. Not really worth it if that little non existing watcher that i believe Twitch puts on your feed just to make you feel better, is the only thing on your channel dashboard.

Don’t get me wrong, i didn’t expect to be Pewdiepie on my first attempt and win a million followers just like that. It takes time, but i think its just my nerves and doubts getting the better of me. Plus, you don’t hear about famous art streamers, you mostly hear about the gamers. I’m not giving up, but i do have to adjust my expectations. If you take away the awareness and the watchers, its actually fun and exciting.

What is it about the interwebs that makes shouting into the electric void feel okay? Is it because it feels somewhat good? Is it the hope that someone out there will hear? That its not just your voice lunging pointlessly just to be taken away by the wind? I’m starting to think so, tho i think im thinking too much on the subject.

All in all, i hope to keep this up and perhaps something worthwhile will come of it.

Oh before i forget, I did want to add one more thing. A few days ago, we had a bit of a power outage in the middle of the day, and because we live in an apartment, everything we have is electrical, even the stove (which i despise beyond expression). So My husband being without his games and me without my pen screen, we didn’t know what to do XD

So i pulled out our Scrabble game, and after 5 years of not having played, my husband was a good sport and sat on the couch to play with me. Not once in the 10-ish years that we have known each other, have i EVER beat him in a Scrabble game. He is too smart, and i am not the brightest bulb in the tanning bed to be honest. But we had a lot of fun. He won of course, but i didn’t care. That wasn’t as important as spending time together goofing off and making fun of each other, laughing loudly and trying to cheat. It seems the longer you go in a marriage, those little genuine fun times become scarcer and  scarcer. But im hoping we will have another day like that soon, minus the power outage.