random thoughts

me and nathan were at the laundry mat last night and we were talking and he was trying to explian to me why i dont have any friends.  i still dont get it exactly.  i always (ar at least recently)  thought that it was b/c of the way i looked.  i mean im covered in this shit.  im sure nobody (nobody who didnt know me before btw) would want to associate with a scary looking person like me.  i think i really have a personalitly dissorder.  its weird tho b/c iv mellowed out alot and before i was a total bitch.  like, back then ppl actually SEEMED to wanna be my friend but now that im “nice”  i have no friends.  nathan said that ppl used to put up with me before b/c i was funny.  but now that im not funny,  whats left??  nothing.  im just another scary face in the crowd.  *sigh*  sometimes i really miss the good oldtimes.  i wish that once i started gaining weight somebody woulda like, i dunno, took me aside and said to me ” its getting out of hand”  yaknow?  like, i wish i coulda caught it before it got out of control.   nathan said that ppl at work dont wanna be my friend b/c of the shit they heard about me from back in the day b4 i even worked here.  how fucken stupid is that????  he says that i only attract bad friends (megan you are excluded from that) .  he says that since im so 2 faced, i only attract 2 faced ppl.  i dunno

who cares???????

~dawn