Flavor of the Month

So once again it’s been way too long and once again everything and nothing has happened.

 

Bumpy and I were done before we even started. For the first week after his 4th of July party everything was absolutely amazing. Then he grew distant and I invited him over one night after work and he just told me that he didn’t feel anything. I asked if there was someone else, because I knew damn well he was getting himself wrapped up in his ex. And I was right. Long story short, he made the right decisions with that situation and now he doesn’t speak to her at all. It’s a good thing, she was using him as a rebound anyway.

 

I have a second job now. I work at a small clothing and vintage store in an outlet village in the same town that my warehouse job is in. I need the money so badly. But I am currently working my 21st day in a row out of 28. I can’t wait till next Saturday. The job is good and my boss is very nice. She took a liking to me very quickly and overly appreciates my amazing organizational skills. So much, in fact, she’s setting up to have me organize the store’s storage unit as well as her own home. Hey money is money. The more hours I work, the less time I have to spend on my awkward social life.

 

As of this morning, I have officially lost 62 pounds this year. Wow. That’s a ton of weight. And I’ll never go back to being that size ever again. I have also gained a little bit of self confidence, but not enough. I still hate the way I look. I’d like to lose at least 30 more pounds.

 

And now, the new toy. Whom I referred to in conversation the other day as the ‘Flavor of the Month’. I’ll call him The Beast for lack of anything better. He is part of Gurdek’s crew… actually he’s the one who created Gurdek’s crew. He is pretty much the definition of ‘bad boy’. You know when you were growing up you would hear names floating around of these older guys who were just notorious for this or that? Yeah, he’s one of those. Right along with the Fish brothers (Mr. Fish that I’ve mentioned), the Roy brothers, and me and my brother, Brooklyn. Only me through family relation though. I’ve never done anything terrible haha.

 

Anyway, this guy is 31. (I like how I went from a 21 year old to a 31 year old in a month)… and something about him draws me right in. We had a joke running over facebook for a little while and then one day I told him that he should ‘make good on a backrub’ that he "owed" me. He said he would so I went and picked him up and we started watching ‘Unthinkable’ and he mentioned the back rub. I sat on the floor and melted. And we’ve hung out just about every day since then (maybe a week and a half). We did a lot of talking last night and we both realized that we have way more in common then we realized.

 

He’s covered in tattoos *drool* and he used to spearhead this local backyard wrestling thing (which between you and I, I always thought was stupid). He is also an AMAZING chef and can cook anything. Food and fighting are his passions. Man’s two most primal instincts as he puts it. But he doesn’t currently have a job… and he’s a pot head. I’ve recently started smoking again myself but I totally dislike potheads. Also, he’s a juggalo. If you don’t know what it is, look it up. A lot of my friends are juggalos and that’s their choice. But I think it’s ridiculous.

 

You all know I’m a sucker for a sweetheart. And I am quite comfortable around him… and I trust him. And those are big deals for me. But I digress, I can’t move backwards. The whole reason for me liking older men is because they are usually where they are supposed to be in life. It’s still about following my head over following my heart. *sigh* but this is still new, we’ll keep with it for a little while.

 

During our talk last night, he casually mentioned to me that he hasn’t been in a relationship in almost 8 years. I was floored. I said I hadn’t been in a relationship for just over a year and that was a huge fucking deal in my world. When he was my age, he had been engaged. A week before the wedding his fiancee bailed on him to be with some crack addict or coke head or something. She said he wasn’t ‘tough enough or bad enough’ for her taste anymore. Which is fucked. He really is a big teddy bear though. I call him that and it drives him nuts, like boils his blood. He says he hates when people call him that. But I’m obviously not calling him that to poke fun at him like the guys do.

 

Well this entry was rather scrambled… but I have nothing else to discuss at the moment. Hope you are well out there in OD land.

 

I love you, my sweet Sarah…

 

9/11/01 … Never Forget

 

e: 10pt; font-family: Arial;”>During our talk last night, he casually mentioned to me that he hasn’t been in a relationship in almost 8 years. I was floored. I said I hadn’t been in a relationship for just over a year and that was a huge fucking deal in my world. When he was my age, he had been engaged. A week before the wedding his fiancee bailed on him to be with some crack addict or coke head or something. She said he wasn’t ‘tough enough or bad enough’ for her taste anymore. Which is fucked. He really is a big teddy bear though. I call him that and it drives him nuts, like boils his blood. He says he hates when people call him that. But I’m obviously not calling him that to poke fun at him like the guys do.

 

Well this entry was rather scrambled… but I have nothing else to discuss at the moment. Hope you are well out there in OD land.

 

I love you, my sweet Sarah…

 

9/11/01 … Never Forget