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So, to continue my drawn out story, i pretty much didn’t see D at all last week.

Tuesday night I had school. Wednesday night I went to Walmart with Becky. That was an adventure. I was getting cat litter, some wrapping paper, and just a couple of odds and ends. When were in the garden department (now all set up with Christmas stuff) I noticed a tree with tags hanging on it near the register. My mother’s church has something silimar. It’s like a giving tree. This one was for the Elizabeth Freedman Center. I think it’s kinda of like a shelter and help program for either single women and their children or abused women and their children. Im thinking the latter. So i sat there and scanned each and every ticket on that tree. The mothers all seemed to just want boots or a coat, all humble things, and mostly simple things for their children. The one I had originally picked out wanted either boots or a gift card to Walmart and the daughter said she wanted a High School Musical CD. I know that isn’t really a necessity, but it’s Christmas, right? I continued to scan the tree to see if there was one that I like better and then I came across a woman who just ruins it for everyone else. She wanted a digital camera and a printing dock. And for EACH of her three children, she wanted a leapster. I want a fucking digiatal camera with a printer dock too. I mean, really? You have someone like this compared to the woman who wants socks and gloves. Give me a break. So I stuck with the original tag I had picked and asked the associate in the department when I have to have the items in by. She said she wasn’t too sure, but she knew there was another tree by the front door where customer service is. "There is?" I asked. And she said, "yes, it’s all children though. It’s a Salvation Army tree." Bingo. I put my tag back on the tree and dragged Becky across the store.

This tree had DOZENS of tags on it. So we took our time and sorted through them. I picked out two. A little girl (3 years old) wanted a ‘Pooh blankey’ and another little girl (6) wanted coloring books, crayons, or a puzzle. Perfect. Also, on each tag, it had the child’s measurments. For if they requested clothing or something. So We headed off to the baby department and I made Becky find the blankets. "Do you feel weird being in this department?" Of course I do. I always feel weird being there. But we found some against the wall and I was going to cheap out, but I didn’t I got the really soft pink pooh one. While we were walking out of the department, towards toys, there was a display set up of childrens gloves. Two pairs for $1. How can you beat that? So I grabbed two sets. Then, after that display was one of little hooded sweatshirts. (Im a fan of hoodie sweatshirts, I wear one every day, all year long. Ask anyone 😉 They were $8. So I grabbed a pink one with hearts and then I had to grab a purple one because it was the only color that had a 5t which is what one of the girls needed. Then I went and grabbed a 64 box of Crayola crayons. 2 coloring books (a generic one and then Becky picked out a Strawberry Shortcake one because it had a tube of chapstick on the cover) and I also grabbed a small 100 piece puzzle. All together, it cost $45. I asked out cashier when the stuff was due by and she goes, "You’re the second person to ask me that… I don’t know." I’m sorry, but if I worked in retail and someone asked me a question, I always found them an answer. So we paid for our stuff and then I stopped back at customer service. There was one person ahead of us and I was content with waiting but Becky says, "Do you know when these tags are due by?" and pointed to the tree. The girl at the desk pointed to two large boxes where the presents went into and then said, "No, Im not sure." So we turned around and said, "This store is FULL OF EMPLOYEES and NO ONE knows when I have to bring this stuff back by."

So we left and then went and grabbed some Chinese at this place I hadn’t been too in a long time. So I’m talking to Becky, stuffing my face, not paying attention to the scattered and scarse people around us… and then three men walk in and walk by our table and an orange sleeved arm points to my plate and says, "That looks really good, can I have some?" and i look up and it’s Marlown. I don’t know if I have ever mentioned Marlown on here before but here is a brief history:

When I worked at Target on the flow team there was this SEXY Latino man who worked as a Team Lead (so a supervisor) in the clothing department. This man was HOT. SMOKING FUCKING HOT. I’ve always thought so and quite frankly, I’ve always wanted to fuck him. Sorry. But it’s true. So he and I used to take our lunch break together and sit in his car and make out and be getting all hot and heavy. *sigh* i miss those days… Anyway, the last time I saw him he had his tongue down my throat and his hand in my pants. He used to send me random dirty texts… explicitly dirty at terrible times, like when I was at my folks house or sitting next to D. I told him to chill, that I didn’t mind but I didn’t want the one time D goes through my phone (cause i dont care) to have some random ‘Come over so I can fuck you’ text in it. So here I am, sitting at this restaurant stuffing my fat face and here he is, out of no where. So im super embarrassed and we quickly finish and leave. When I got home I sent him a myspace message and said, "sorry you had to see me gross like I am now. You, however, are still sexy as hell." I eventually got back, "It’s okay, baby you still make my cock hard." god damn… Okay enough of that, im getting bothered. Back to the children.

I wrapped the gifts elaborately. One girl (the 6 year old) got crayons, coloring books, a small puzzle, the hoodie, and a pair of gloves. The three year old got the blankey, the hoodie, and the gloves. Everything got wrapped in tissue paper and put in a shirt box. On top of all the stuff, on a piece of paper, i printed out a letter. It had a picture of Santa and the reindeer, a snowman, and an elf. In the corner I put a little note that said, "Santa knows you were a good girl this year, ____! I hope you like your presents!" Then I wrapped the shirt boxes, put ribbon on them and a label that had their name and ‘from Santa’. *sigh* There’s my good holiday deed.

The next night, before school, I dropped the boxes off at Walmart. Went to school, took a test. Got a 92. Our teacher was tired cause he just got back from visitng his gf in Minneanapolis. So we got out at 8ish as opposed to 9. Then me and the boys went out. let me elaborate about my boys:

Bill – our class rep. Good guy, great friend. He was one of the guys that went to the clam bake and we bonded instantly. We’re very flirty. It’s all innocent. He’s married with two very small children.
Dan – One of the other guys from the clambake, maybe a couple of years older then myself. Puerto Rican, very handsome. Killer smile.
Dave – See above. This is how our little clan formed. Married with 4 kids. 32.
Mike – Teacher. Hot. Great Personality.
Karin – Only other girl in my class. Lesbian. Been with her gf for 5 years.
Matt – Nice guy. single, he and i are the two that hang out at the bar when everyone else leaves.

So all of the above went to the bar (except Karin). I or

iginally sat next to this kid Collin (remember this one) and the rest joined in. Soon Collin left and Mike sat in his spot. Yum. So we were all hanging out and I soon said, "What happened to one or two? I know I’m on four!" Everyone laughed and agreed and peopel started to leave. Matt and I were left. I was going to buy another round but he said he was hungry and asked if i wanted to go somewhere else. I said sure and we headed a couple of miles down the road to another bar called FitzWilly’s (Oh, by the way, our regular bar is Silk City Tap Rooms here on referred to as Silks). So we went and grabbed a bite and had a couple of drinks and then I went home.

Now for the good part 🙂

Saturday morning my father and I went car shopping. We went and look at that Liberty and that was it. Best ever 🙂 No running around.

That night was the Union Hall’s apprentice christmas party. It was held in Chicopee at a bar called ‘Maximum Capactiy’. Started at 6. I got there around 6:20 and waited outside, hoping to walk in with someone that I knew. But it was cold and I eventually walked in. There was an upstairs and a downstairs and I remembered someone saying it was upstairs. So I went up and got asked for my ID and got a wristband and went in. At the first table was Matt, Dave, Ryan (another guy in my class), and a couple of guys from a higher grade. The bar was straight ahead of me and there were several high tables and bar stools. On the right were four pool tables and to the left was the stage. So I sat and chatted, avoiding starting drinking cause I knew I still had quite a drive home and didn’t want to possibly get pulled over on the Mass pike. Plus, i don’t drink beer. So I had to pay for my drinks. The guys were drinking off a free keg. So we were just hanging out and bsing. Bill and Dan soon showed up. Then Karin. Some other people from our class (Eric, Kevin, Griff, and Kyle) were all playing pool. So we were just hanging out, having a good time. They served dinner, but I didn’t eat… im VERY uncomfortable eating in front of other people. Which is too bad cause it looked and smelled AMAZING. We hung out and stuff. Then they did a big raffle. They had SO MANY TOOLS on the stage, it was amamzing. Everyone got a blue ticket when we got there. Then they sold 50/50 tickes (1 for 5 or 3 for 10) and orange tickets (5 bucks a piece) so I spent $20 and got 3 50/50s and 2 orange ones. One of the guys in our class left early so Dave had his blue ticket. When that guys number got called, Dave went up and grabbed something for him. I said, "Fuck that, he left." plus no one likes the guy that left anyways. So I took his ticket. They had so much stuff they called the same blue tickets 4 or 5 times. Plus I had two tickets. I got a set of open ended wrenched, a small voltage tester, a shirt, a screw driver, flashlight, outlet voltage tester, and a couple of other things. Then they did the orange tickets (there was only like 5 prizes) and my number got called! I had a choice between a $100 gift certificate to Opa Opa (which is a local brewer and steakhouse… local meaning out where I was not an hour away near my house) or a $100 gift certificate for Dick’s. Fuck yeah! Dick’s! Carharts! NICE! Didn’t win the 50/50 but thats okay.

We didnt have to pay cover for when the bar opened at 9. There was a band and stuff too. Bill, Dan, Dave, Karin, and I were all in the corner playing pool and hanging out. Bill was being all touchy feely as he often is and I just played along and enjoyed the attention. Then there was a girl walking around with tube shots. Raspberry Kamikazes. TRY IT.

After a couple of hours one of the 5th years (Collin) came over and told us to go sit with the 4 or so of them that were left. He did this by putting his arm around me (i was sitting on a bar stool) and I did the same. So we did. Collin bought me and Karin a tube (like my 5th) and then a little while later I bought him one. Then I asked him if he wanted to go smoke a cigarette. So he and I are out in the snow (dusting everywhere) and other bar goers are out side. Soon, Erik and Griff come out (they had went to a different bar and then come back) were talking to us. Before I knew it, Collin had his hand in my ass pocket and was just rubbing and grabbing my ass. I was a little tipsy (not trashed, really) and Collin. Collin is cute. He’s mulotto, a little taller then myself, glasses, not skinny, not heavy by any means. Good looking, I just never thought much of it cause I never see him. Also, he is married with a little girl. So then Erik puts his arm around me and i’m loving this. We were out there for quite some time and then bill comes out and goes ‘I thought you left’. I said no, i’ve been out here. He kinda gets pissed and says, "yeah for like an hour" and I said "no, like 20 or twenty five minutes, who cares?" He was just drunk, i wasnt taking any of this to heart. I just say, ‘fuck you, dude’ and go to walk in. He grabs my arm and I say, "Bill you fucking let go of me." And he does. He didnt mean it in a harsh or bad way but he has big hands and im sensitive. So Collin and I meet at the top of the stairs and we walk back into the room where the band is. We realize NO ONE ELSE from the union hall is still there. It’s about 12:30. He also seemed to notice that no one was by the pool tables either. So we grab a drink and we head back to the same table that the rest of us had been at earlier. So I climb up into the same chair and all of a sudden Collin is right there in my face. He’s pushes my legs apart a little and stands in between them. He’s just rubbing my legs and my back, pressing ‘himself’ against um… ‘me’ and i put my head against his. He just says "I think this is the first time I’ve seem you with your hair down without a hat on." I just giggle and take a drink. I’m so enthralled at this point that someone is actually paying attention to me, I can’t even stand it. So this goes on for quite some time and he tries to kiss me a couple of times, but I don’t let him. He then starts kissing my neck and I pull away quick and look at him and he smiles and whispers, "No marks…" and I smile and nod slightly and he goes back to doing that and kissing my ear. He, at one point, asks me if I masturbate. I said, "…um, Yeah." He puts his lips next to my ear and whispers, "Let me give you something to think about." Holy fuck. What is going on? Oh man… I couldn’t just grab it… oh but I wanted to… So then after this for sometime I finish my drink and tell him I need to get going (it’s 1:30). He follows me outside and I say by and he says, "Jenna wait, come here." So I stopped and he comes back and hugs me. He says, "I gotta know…" and tugs on my jeans. I just say, "Yeah, it’s shaved." and he makes a noise and slips his hands down… he would have done more, but I stopped him. He then says, "What if I told you that I shave too?" And I smirked and he grabs my hand and i touch the same spot he touched on me. Oh man… I got flustered and said, "Look it’s not you, you know? Cause you’re fucking hot. This is only the second boyfriend I haven’t cheated on and…" "I know, it’s okay. You did a good job." He put his hand under my chin and lifted my face to look at his (which he had done a lot) He leaned in again to try and kiss

me and I again managed to turn away. He lifted my chin again, "You’re doing a really good job."  I sighed. "I have to go," and gave him a hug. "Please don’t be weird on Tuesday…" He says, "You don’t be weird on Tuesday." And then I drove home. Got home at 3:30am… went to sleep on the couch. It was hard to look at D the next day… but he was being an asshole. Which made me not feel as bad.

Sunday Becky and I went and had dinner at the Olive Garden in Colonie and then went and saw the Trans Siberian Orchestra in Albany at the Times Union Center. So good… didn’t really help that my stomach was a little messed up, I would have had a much better time. Plus the asshole behind me had his knee in my back the whole time.

All and all I spent about $300 this weekend. Don’t know where I got $300 but when I totaled everything up…

Im anxious to see if I see Collin at school tonight. Oh and when he said, "I can give you something to think about…" heh… I have been.

I wanted to get this all down. Ever since Saturday night, I’ve just not been loving towards D at all. I’m usually affection starved and ask for hugs and stuff all the time, but I haven’t bothered. He’s said "I love you" and hugged me a couple of times on his own… but for once I wouldn’t have cared if he didnt. Oh the winds of change are blowing…