The Cut

I had just completed my rotation through neonatal medicine, and had to admit I was glad it was finished. I had learned how to care for extremely sick newborns and preemies, and to perform many intricate and medically necessary procedures on the little tykes. The most uncomfortable thing I learned however, was how to perform circumcisions. Well they were certainly more uncomfortable for the little fellows involved, but I must admit to a certain squeamishness.

I remembered back to when I discovered that some penises were circumcised and others were not. I was in the locker room at school and noticed that some of the fellow’s equipment was different than mine. Instead of the bulbous end that mine had, theirs ended in a structure I could only describe as ‘wormlike.’ I had no idea why theirs was so different from mine, indeed different from most of the guys in class.
I went to the library on the way home from school that day, and was surprised to learn that my manly equipment had been altered. Not only had I lost part of my penis that was said to be rich in nerve endings, but would also add a certain girth, and therefore make me look bigger. Ummm… Not that I need that.
I have since learned that in the USA, the majority of infant boys are circumcised, as opposed to Europe, and certain parts of California, where the natural look prevails. Another amazing fact is that many boys in the USA do not know whether they are circumcised or not. You always think yours is normal I guess.
There is a theory that circumcision was brought to the USA by Victorians who wanted to curb adolescent masturbation by desensitizing the penis. A failed experiment to be sure! Actually I am almost afraid to think what a complete sex fiend I would be if, as impossible as it is to imagine, my penis was even a little more sensitive. Talk about premature ejaculation – just saying hello to a pretty girl would do it!
I am confused about having any male offspring ‘snipped’, because I don’t want to deprive the little fellow of any extra sensation, while wanting him to be a ‘chip off the old block’, so to speak. I think the over riding factor is his, and his woman’s health. It is now proven that circumcised males acquire and spread Sexually Transmitted Diseases at a rate much less than their unclipped brethren.
So to end this discussion I want to tell a true story about the physician who taught me how to perform circumcisions, Dr Johnson – I know, I know, but that IS his name!
I was in Dr Johnson’s office and noticed an unusual looking wallet on his desk. I remarked on it and he chuckled and said it was made from discarded foreskins. I looked at him incredulously and he said to pick up the wallet and rub it, it would turn into a suitcase….
 
PS – The day I first saw Dr Johnson do a circumcision, I went home and after dinner decided to watch a movie on cable. As I scanned the menu, I saw one movie called ‘The Foreskin’. I commented to my room mate, "Who in their right mind would call a movie Foreskin?"
          "Rob," he laughed, "the movie is The Forsaken."
 
I’m glad to be back dear readers, and I promise to catch up on reading and noting you all.
Rob
 

 

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April 6, 2010

…and certain parts of California… yeah, don’t remind me. (ew.)

April 6, 2010

Turn into a suitcase? Gah! Why would a man want to carry around discarded foreskin?

April 6, 2010

I actually never minded an uncircumcised peto. I kinda like but alas, can’t come across them as often as I would think. I should have been dating Europeans. hmm. Hindsight they say…heh, there’s a joke in there somewhere I’m sure.

April 6, 2010

~dies laughing~ ~SMOOCH~ there you are!! you’ve been missed darlin!

April 6, 2010

*snickers* i have really missed your stories!

April 6, 2010

Yes but circumcised or not, when they are standing at attention, they all look alike!

April 7, 2010

I wondered what had happened to you! Glad to see you writing again. (And your sense of humor wasn’t lost in the rotation, either).

April 7, 2010

in reference to the STD thing – proven that people don’t wash their manly parts … bad rap for those that do. just sayin’

April 7, 2010

I love reading your entries at lunch time-they really help my appetite **

April 7, 2010

hello, i missed you! i am an uncircumcised one! the doctor asked my dad if he wanted me to be circumcised and, since there was no medical reason at the time, my father said no. i’m still unsure about whether or not my boy will be circumcised or not. the HIV virus clinging to the cells of the inside is kind of a barrier. plus the fact that i often have to reach down during sex ad pull the foreskin

April 7, 2010

back to feel extra good makes it kind of annoying. in america people have also been a little off put by the foreskin. we’ll see!

April 7, 2010

p.s. babies? SUPER CUTE! (not)

April 9, 2010

I was pretty horrified when I found out some crazy percentage of circumcicions happened as the norm in America. If dads taught their sons how to wash themselves properly then that STD statistic wouldn’t exist and parents wouldn’t be scared into having the op done.

April 9, 2010

Honestly, what’s more awkward? Chopping off part of your sons genitals without his permission and then having to explain to him why later in life, or leaving him be and teaching him how to wash at the same time as potty training (or shaving) or any other number of times it would be appropriate. Female genital mutilation is illegal at any age, I don’t see why it’s acceptable for boys.

April 9, 2010

Grrr. Might as well remove girls hymens at birth just in case they have some pain and bleeding when it breaks later in life! No one would ever take that seriously. Geeze. VERY glad I live in the UK.

April 10, 2010

The idea of circumcision makes my Dutch husband turn a milky shade of pale! Honestly, I’d never given circumcision much thought either way until we found out we were having a boy. Now, after doing a bit of research and having done my own..ahem,,research;) I’d never ever let my son be cut! Esp after one of my cousin’s twin sons was nearly mutilated during the procedure and required extensive plastic surgery at age 2…*shivers*

April 14, 2010

“Ummmm…..not that i need that.” feeling insecure, are we? 🙂 good to see ya, kid.

April 14, 2010

just finished catching up on 4 1/2 months of entries. you are entirely too prolific for me. 🙂 but really, it’s been fun. glad to see you’re doing well and writing more music. also – you should be jealous. i’m headed to fenway next week for my second game of the season! if only i was lucky enough to force a win….

April 16, 2010

I’ve watched circumcisions and it looks horrible. Poor little baby’s. It’s worse that they used to not do anything to make it numb because apparently they thought babies felt no pain. Yes, why do they think they cried? My goodness. And funny story about the wallet! They use foreskin for a lot of skin grafting I hear actually. How funny, yes, could you imagine someone say, “This part of my cheek, that once was foreskin.” Ewww.

April 24, 2010

as a pediatrician, i’m constantly re-considering my thoughts on circumcision. it helps me to have a guys thoughts on it.

April 26, 2010

So I’m not the only one who’s been under the radar lately. Hey, we might start a rumor….. 🙂

April 30, 2010

Wallet into a suitcase–Hilarious! Might make it hard to explain to the airline why you didn’t “check your baggage”–LOL!

May 2, 2010

lol rob your too much

June 11, 2010

The Forsaken… LOL!

June 15, 2010

Hi 🙂

June 24, 2010

Another drive-by hello. Hope you’re doing okay 🙂

June 27, 2010

looks like you’ve been away for a bit too!

July 5, 2010

You planning on coming back around anytime soon? Hmm? Miss you and your stories.

July 20, 2010

and another thing, i miss you totally my dear, are you going to come back??? *hugs you* my sister has skin grafts on her legs (diabetic ulcers were the cause) that are baby penis skin. we tease her about that. a LOT.

July 24, 2010

You’ve been gone too long and are missed. Hope you are ok. Come back soon. Hugs.

August 9, 2010

Where you be?

September 5, 2010

Rob, what ‘s up ??? Looking for wonderful entries ….

September 8, 2010

Hey! Where the heck are you? If you’re busy it’s understandable, just a line or two would be great.

September 15, 2010

ryn : u are assuming i’m coming from a questioning of self worth. but i am coming from philosophical point of view, on the existence of humanity.

September 16, 2010

Good seeing you here, Rob. Great reading. Wish I had your wit, wisdom, and gift for writing. You’re amazing. Em

September 20, 2010

where’d you go?!

September 23, 2010

Just a note to let you know you are missed. I hope everything is ok with you or is it that work/rotations have become overwhelming? Whatever the case, I am thinking of you and look forward to you returning one day. Take care.

October 4, 2010

Look buster you can’t just up and not drop a line to someone anyone (ME DAMMIT) to let us know you are ok. You can’t get us all attached to you then just up and go underground. Cold turkey ain’t pretty darlin. So – how are you?

October 23, 2010

Where are you? When are you coming back? You still alive out there somewhere? Just let us know what happened to you. (and write some really interesting entry while you’re here, ok?) BTW, I miss you! Take care.

October 26, 2010

we miss you! ~

November 1, 2010

hey… thought you were back, what happened? I’ve been away myself. Just wondered if you were still around…

November 9, 2010

Listen, could you just let us know you’re still in the land of the living? Curious minds want to know. Miss ya.

November 17, 2010

I really wish I had done more talking to dudes before I got my little guy snipped. He’s 5 now, and I keep wondering how I’m going to tell him that I told a doctor to snip off a part of his manhood without his consent for no good reason. That’s interesting to hear about how it may have come to the U.S… I’ve heard Abraham started it all because of some penis disease (although I’m assuming that’s a myth), but not how it got here. I love that the doctor’s name was Dr. Johnson, haha. We have a dentist over here named Dr. Fear – no joke. I like your writing. Coming back anytime soon?

December 25, 2010

Where did you go? I hope all is well. Merry Christmas!

January 17, 2011

We have missed you, Celticman!

January 21, 2011

Hey!!! What’s going on here? If you don’t show up soon me and Goodgolly are going to root you out like a wolverine on road kill.

February 1, 2011

doctor, doctor give me a cure . . . i’ve got a bad case of NOT READING YOU!!! 🙂