Christmas letter

dear eyes who love me and watch me through the night,

it comes like a summer rain, hot and fast, only i wish it was water.

this holiday is crimson and rust instead of silver gold, and the lights on the tree remind me of the lights of the city… vibrate, alive… death has surrounded me this year, so now i no longer fear her icy touch, and i have changed so much.

i’m not going to apologize for this, i am who i want to be.

hydrogen peroxide and bandages cover the rotting flesh that has pulsed beyond it’s time. i’m wishing that i had something pretty to rhyme. i can’t open up to anyone, i can’t tell people how i feel, how the stench of life effects me, shakes me….

medicine and money, staying snow and soft goodbyes… we never had the time.

E.W. Desselle