celebration ale

the ale seems to serve me well, bringing out feeling that i thought were lost or didn’t have any meaning. this is the end of the begin, and this has only just started, hopeless hearts dread all that has departed. i want to find the magic door, or verse of spell that can make this world heaven instead of hell… we want to love, we want to give, but that isn’t how we live, fingers fastened into fist, wanting a rain shower and only getting cold mist. the ground isn’t frozen here, we can bury our dead all year. all this tragedy surrounds me, it confounds me, otis sings merry christmas baby and i’ll try to forget when we would carol together, it’s always hard to have a broken heart at christmas, but i’ve had alot of practice… my misery is nearly perfect.

update: things aren’t so bad, at least i have here to vent! =) i have no love of my own, except that of blood, and it wears thin. tomorrow i will attend my third funeral for this year, and it makes me feel old. dirty hands, and blood beneath the nails… ya know? anyways, it’s still christmas, so i’ll force a smile to keep up apperances at the office… christmas party is tonight. i love you all, some time i’ll return to this site full time… if you have facebook add me as your friend, i’m eric desselle, as always…