More century-busting material!

this is what I posted on our band myspace journal.  I say journal because I hate the word "blog":

    Ok.  I know we’ve had that quote on our myspace page ever since we heard about this movie, but what started out as a joke suddenly became a tangible reality.  The movie Snakes On A Plane is looking for a new song to feature on its soundtrack, and they are holding a competition for the best song.  We’ve recorded and submitted a song that we want to be on this album, because we’re total geeks and we think we can actually win this competition.  The song we submitted has a very long title (Thom Yorke Has Been In One Too Many Car Accidents) but has been truncated here so it actually fits on myspace to simply "Thom Yorke".
    Now… I, Sean, originally came up with this entire song as a sort of emo joke, but when I presented the idea to the rest of the band it actually came together in a serious way, and we suddenly had one of our best songs on our hands.  A little tweaking… a few measures of 7/8… a few more nods to Radiohead and we ended up with the version you can hear on out main profile page.  Joey was enthralled the moment he heard of Snakes On A Plane, and immediately began relating anything that was so stupid it just might be the best thing ever to the movie.  For instance, The Go! Team became his official Snakes On A Plane band, and seeing them in concert did not let us down at all.  That’s about the time we ended up with our current quote, but it wasn’t until late in the week of South by Southwest that the creators of Snakes On A Plane let the cat out of the bag.
    We were stunned.  This was too good to be true.  We had a shot at being on the soundtrack of the movie most likely to have the largest cult following ever before its release date.  The only thing left to decide upon was the song we would submit.  We obviously had the option of writing a song either about airplanes or snakes or snakes on planes or some other obscure combination of the two, but we quickly realized that SO MANY OTHER BANDS would try that very thing.  And suck miserably at it.  We decided we’d use one of our best songs.  One of our wildest songs.  One of our most energetic songs.  One with references to disfiguring car accidents.  We chose Thom Yorke.  We hit the tiny studio out in Taylor immediately and cranked out our demo of the song and …. missed the deadline.
    Or so we thought!  It turns out that just as we were planning an internet-wide petition to get our song in the competition, the comptetition issued an extension on the time frame allowable to submit the songs all the way to the 18th.  w00t!  Out cranks the song, up goes the MP3, wait goes the band.  Now, some of you who still have no idea what the hell "Snakes On A Plane" is, may be wondering why the hell we went through so much trouble to get this song submitted?  The short answer is that we’re total geeks.  The long answer may be better articulated by posting this article about Snakes On A Plane for your enjoyment:

Snakes on a Plane … and Nice Breasts
One Fry Short
by Matt Diamond
February 25, 2006
 

This may come as a shock to many of you, but sometimes I like to watch movies that aren’t pornographic. You may be familiar with these. They’re the ones that have actual characters and a plot and sometimes people do things that aren’t each other.
Sure, some of these films may have a disappointing lack of graphic sex (Pooh’s Heffalump Movie, I’m looking in your direction), but they make up for it with intellectual stimulation. Movies make people think. Or at least they make me think. For example, "I think that actress has nice breasts."
There are a lot of non-pornographic films coming out in 2006 that I’m really looking forward to. One of these is Darren Aronofsky’s The Fountain. Some of you may know Aronofsky from his previous film, Requiem for a Dream, which is apparently a real feel-good movie. He also directed Pi, which is the only math-themed film I will ever admit to watching, aside from Donald Duck in Mathmagic Land, which is totally a classic. I won’t say much about the plot of Pi, except that it features a deeply paranoid mathematician who, at one point, is abducted by a group of fanatical orthodox Jews. Obviously this is a film we can all relate to.
I’m really eager to see The Fountain, but there’s one movie coming out in 2006 that completely blows me away. This movie is going to redefine cinema as we know it. This movie is going to be the most important film of the 21st century. This movie is about snakes. This movie is about planes. This movie is about what happens when one is on the other.
This movie is Snakes on a Plane.
As you can tell, this movie is about snakes on a plane. There are other elements to the plot, like an assassin trying to eliminate a witness in protective custody, but this is all secondary to the main point of the film: snakes that are on a plane. Or, conversely, a plane that has snakes on it. Either way, we know what we’re getting: some sort of snake/plane combination, with action-packed results.
As if this wasn’t amazing enough, we also have a stellar cast, led by one of the greatest thespians of our time: Samuel L. Jackson. This man needs no introduction. He’s been in every movie ever made. He’s made shouting into an art. I’m not sure exactly what he’s going to do in this movie, but I can tell you this: Samuel L. Jackson doesn’t take crap from anybody. Especially snakes. Especially when they’re on his goddamn plane.
In case that’s not enough for you, the cast is also rounded out by Kenan Thompson, who many of you may know from the Nickelodeon show "Kenan and Kel." I’ve actually seen a screenshot from Snakes on a Plane with Kenan in it, and suffice it to say, there are snakes on him. And he’s not very happy about it. Unfortunately, it doesn’t look like Kelis going to be in this movie, which is a shame, since it could’ve resulted in some pretty awesome lines ("Who loves orange soda? Kel loves orange soda! BUT NOT SNAKES"). Then again, can he really top his Oscar-worthy performance in Good Burger?
Of course, there have been efforts to derail this movie, including efforts to change the title to something much less awesome, such as Pacific Air 121. Who the hell would want to see a movie called Pacific Air 121? It doesn’t mention snakes at all.
Luckily, Samuel L. Jackson protested, explaining that the title was the only reason he took the job. I can’t blame him; Snakes on a Plane is perhaps the greatest movie title since Leprechaun in the Hood. The title lays out exactly what you’re getting: There’s a plane and there are snakes on it. As Jackson himself puts it, "You either want to see that, or you don’t."
Whether or not Snakes on a Plane receives critical acclaim on the level of Brokeback Mountain is a moot point. Brokeback Mountain may have gay cowboys, but Snakes on a Plane has snakes. And a plane. It’s such a natural combination; I can’t help but wonder if the Wright Brothers had snakes in mind from the start. Regardless of their intentions, it has become obvious to me that planes were meant for snakes, and vice versa. Think of it like Romeo and Juliet, but with reptiles and aircraft.
In conclusion, everyone needs to see Snakes on a Plane. There’s no way this movie can fail. The hype for this film has been building like crazy; there’s even a Facebook group for it, and we all know what that means. To sum it all up: This film has Samuel L. Jackson, Kenan, snakes and a plane. So jump on the bandwagon before it’s too late, because movies don’t get any better than this. Unless, of course, there are boobs in it.
 
I have many predicitions about Snakes on a Plane. All of them will come true. Just wait and see.

1. Snakes on a Plane will become the highest grossing film ever released. The domestic box office alone will be $876,567,332.

2. A woman will have an immaculate conception before the opening credits of Snakes on a Plane are over. 9 months later, she will name the child Snake F*cking Jackson.

3. In Topeka, a crippled child will be cured while watching Samuel L. Jackson f*ck shiat up and kill snakes.

4. John Travolta will die while watching Snakes on a Plane because he will realize every film he has ever made, or will make, has just been blown away by the greatness that is Snakes on a Plane. This realization will cause his head to explode.

5. Dick Cheney will get so exicted at the premiere of Snakes on a Plane that he will repeatedly fire an expensive, custom, shotgun at the screen.

6. Tom Cruise will be so inspired by Snakes on a Plane that he will finally come out of the closet. He will tirelessly campaign for gay rights. Eventually, he will settle down and marry comedic genius David Cross. They will be happy.

7. Promotional images for Snakes on a Plane will supernaturally appear on items all over the world. A piece of toast in Ordsville, IA. A slab of granite from Bakers Run, WI. A mold stain in a basement located in Mooresville, MA. These items will set world record bidding wars on eBay.

8. Aliens will finally reveal themselves to the people of earth. Why? "Because Snakes on a Plane was so f*cking cool," they will say.

9. After seeing Snakes on a Plane, George Lucas will realize his vision for Star Wars is incomplete and completely pussified. He will begin production on a new chapter of his sci-fi saga. Star Wars Episode VI: Jedi Snakes on a F*cking Star Destroyer will complete his epic. It will beat the previously held box office record of Snakes on a Plane.

10. Upon leaving his 133rd viewing of Snakes on a Plane, Stephen Hawking will rise up out of his wheelchair and declare that Snakes on a Plane is, "Better than the f*cking spacey thing book I wrote. It rules." He will then set the new world record for the Boston Marathon, marry Jessica Simpson, and the resulting baby will be composed of a mixture of Genius Matter and Anti-Genius Matter. The baby’s left and right hands will touch and cause an implosion of the space-time continuim. Only the re-release of Snakes on a Plane will save mankind.

Any questions?  Didn’t think so.  Go vote for Thom Yorke.