gaycuntburgerfromsonic

so I had Christmas dinner with my Aunt Betsy… yeah they’re the vegetarians in the family.  Somehow they manage to cook EXACTLY the thing I don’t want to eat.  all there was … was (I hate it when the same word is supposed to be used twice in a sentence right next to itself) ham, and salad and really really super baywatch-sand-dry roast beef.  and funky broccoli.  reminds me of a flier we were gonna make with David Hasselhoff on it that says "We’re not as gay as you think we are" but we decided it… might be in bad taste? or maybe it was too funny and people would actually not get it.

Anyway yeah.  I ate before everyone else and I think they were jealous of me because they kept staring at me.  but the food was done.  they were being weird.  And then there was one of the cousins I never noticed before… she suddenly like turned hot all of the sudden.  I don’t feel so bad because she’s from the side of that family I’m not actually related to, but yeah…. I’m pretty sure she’s still in high school.  I’m a fuckin perv.  I can feel my eyes rotting out as we speak.  or as I monologue through type.  because I’m sure you can’t quite say anything to me because you’re busting a gut, or if you’re not I’ll bust your fucking gut for you.  ass.

Speaking of dinner though, there was this dinner tonight.  it kinda sucked.  we went to a comedy club here in austin and I had a burger, but I think they ran out back and went to the sonic across the street and got me a double cheeseburger, unwrapped it, cut it in half, put it in a tray and served it to me.  And charged me a 7 dollar service fee.  Oh and all the dark beer they has was shiner.  😛  at least it wasn’t that nasty goat piss crap budlight or whatever.  well.  I swear that was like a chinese food burger.  you eat the whole thing and 30 minutes later you’re just hungry again.  so then I had tiny pickles and string cheese when I got home.  I stood there spearing tiny pickles with a knife by the light of the fridge.  That was fun.  Fish in a motherfucking barrel.

Its weird… Gay guys always like Tony Danza and Lesbians always like Julia Stiles… but they’re not gay! it’s like… go for Elen Degeneres! she’s single! or Christopher Lowell!  he looks like a giant penis. every gay man’s dream. Ellen’s not so bad. she’s just got that scary smile. that smile that says "I’m going to eat you". It’s the teeth. Whoa…. she’s got the same haircut as tony danza… WTF mate? Anyway.