o.o … And my nipples too.

Seems like my friends and I all have certain catch phrases or one liners that we use when either a certian situation comes up or when we can’t think of anthign else to say.  well my most common would be "…and my nipples too." which I said to my friend Kat.  She was poking at the buttons of my nintendo controller t-shirt while I was tryign to talk to Robin, and I cut off waht I was going to say "would you quit that?  you’re poking my chest!"  then I proceeded to finish what I was telling Robin, adding only as an afterthought "And my nipples too."  situations like this bring up each phrase.  like when Kat put us in an awkward position and Robin simply filled the silence with "insert ‘blank’ here".  most of the humor is found in the very origins of the phrase but even still some can carry their weight in laughs.  take "They’re fruits, bitch!" for instance.  that was a completely hilarious situation, but even if I were to say that about gay guys it would still be funny.  so what else do I say in rough situations?  I’ll give you a list and you can use your imagination about what we were doing to come up with each one.  oh and if anyone can think of more than this please feel free to add your own in notes!

Sean-  "And my nipples too",  "They’re fruits, bitch!",  "The girl… the girl!  She’s mine!",  "That’s one fine piece of pixel"

Robin- "Huba-whaaaa?",  "Insert ‘blank’ here", "I’m a Tampon.", "Share the load!"

Joe- "So HOT!  But so TINY!", "You better call back your Mexicans!", "Kaaaaahn!"

Kat- "Do you say that knowing that I’m a cat?"

Joey- "I’m hungry for the food of my people.", "The goggles!  They do nothing!",  "They never shoulda gave you niggas money!", "a very very very young girl."

Has your imagination just run amok with excitement at these strange out of context phrases?  here!  allow me to give a brief background to each one.  you already know the first 2 if you know me or my diary.  the girl she’s mine came from an IHOP (the night I saw that girl that looked just like my canadian friend Sara) where a Joey had asked me how I knew the words to "Under the Sea" form the Little Mermaid.  I said "Dude Ariel is HOT" and we got to talking about hot cartoon characters when the subject of the Incredibles came up, and in my best dirty pedophile voice I said "The girl… the girl!  She’s mine!"  That certainly shocked and amazed.  the fine piece of pixel came from somethign I heard once from my cousin about a piece of art being a fine piece of ink.  when we got the PS game Mad Maestro, there’s a little fairy character that you’re introduced to, and I very inappropriately popped that one out.  robin’s huba-whaaa line came from the cartoon Sheep in the Big City.  It was taken to new levels of hilarity when our friend Kelly (then 16) randomly told him "I’m pregnant."  naturally that was the first thing he said.  naturally she wasn’t.  Insert blank here was one of his own creations, and I’ve already told about it.   as for him being a tampon… well he’s from Tampa Bay Florida.  People from Tampa are just Tampons by default.  "Share the load" is a direct quote from Lord of the Rings.  pretty stupid on its own unless you say it in the distorted slow motion that Frodo hears when he’s freaking out.  shaaaare thee loooad!  Now Joe’s hot but tiny joke ties in with Joey’s very very young girl line.  We were on our way to a bachelor party when we passed a restaurant called Lolita’s.  now… Joe didn’t know what a lolita was and if you don’t either, then you’re about to find out.  Joey’s phone rang just as he was explaining this and the first thing that the person on the other end of the phone hears is "… a very very very young girl.  hello?"  and indeed that is what a lolita is.  from the book "Lolita" by Nabakov or however you spell his name.  nedless to say we were laughing for a while and Joe, being the prankster that he is, comes up with the most randomly confusing/disturbing line he can say in the background on the phone and says his line "She’s so HOT!  but so TINY!"  don’t ask don’t tell.  The newest line is "you better call back your mexicans."  I will say this for them, Mexicans have to be the best connected people on the face of the planet.  if you know one mexican… chances are they’ve got relatives in nearly every profession and walk of life.  and this is just in thier immediate family and blood relations.  mostly in the same city.  Mexicans have big fuckin families.  did you know 1 in 7 americans is hispanic?  anyway, point is, our radiator blew up on the way to the wedding this weekend and one of Joey’s uncles managed to secure us a tow truck for a discounted rate because he’s mexican and he knows a guy with a tow truck.  so many people were calling his uncle (Benji) and while he’s talkign to one of them Joe hears the magic line "You better call back your Mexicans!"  Now not only is this sound advice, it’s also very funny to hear.  Kahn is obviously a classic line from Star Trek.  Either you get it or you don’t.  Kat’s catch phrase comes from an anime called Azu Manga Daioh.  in a crack-induced new years dream, the animal lover Miss Sakaki dreams that her classmate’s father is a weird floating yellow cat with bendy arms.  The father says the strangest things but the thing that caught on the best was "Do you say that knowing that I’m a cat?"  you’ll have to see the series to get any more than that out of it.  needless to say it’s a perfect thing to say in an awkward situation.  and her name is Kat.  Now Joey, being Mexican, sometimes needs the nourishment that only the food of his people can provide.  some combination of meat, beans, veggies, and tortilla.  the day he first told us that, we’ve been saying it ever since.  Joey… we want the food of your people. now, the goggles they do nothing is from something else but I forget where and I don’t care.  it’s freakin hilarious.  they never shoulda gave you niggas money… now that’s from Dave Chapelle elaborating on one of Charlie Murphy’s Hollywood stories about Rick James grinding his muddy boots into Eddie Murphy’s suede couch.  Rick’s high on coke and he’s ruining Eddie’s couch so his brother Charlie comes over and pummel’s Rick James’ legs so he can’t walk, and as he’s crawling off, Rick James yells incoherently about Eddie being able to buy a new couch because he’s rich.  "They never shoulda gave you niggas money!"  Such a useful phrase!  but as you can tell… I’ve hinted at a few recent events such as a weddign and a bachelor party that I haven’t yet elaborated on.  well… not in this entry sadly, but I’ll get around to telling those stories in due time.  I have to maintain my cliff-hanging su

spense of readability with my few devout readers.  always leave them wanting more is what they say.  well with that I’ll bid you good night!