3/25/05

What am I going to do? I am so lost in this world of whys and what ifs………… Why did he stop loving me? What if I tried harder? (It been almost four years…..STOP IT!      He does love you, he loves her and you are with a other man now. OH GOD!…………………………………………………………………………………..WHY?)            I tried so hard to be the perfect woman, mother, and lover to that man. That it’s got me scared to trust and treat this man good. I get mad at him for just being a man. For doing man things, like leaving the toilet seat up or watching sport all the time. If i was him I would leave me, but no he is so understanding to what  James put me though. All the drama, tears, blood, bruising, and lying to my family.  For what to loose everything, to be homeless and pregnant and back at home with my mother. I lost to much to be with James. Why, why, why is he calling me and telling me he still love me?   And what  if I took him back?