avoiding

So…you guessed it…my scheduled routine hasn’t been going so well.

I’ve managed to get back to eating more healthily.

But that’s not what I need to get down into words. Because without words it’s not real. I haven’t been writing because I wanted to avoid analyzing the relationship I am in. Because at times it is so perfect and he is so wonderful and we just fit. And then he reminds me how bitter and jaded and lost he is. And I know he is simply an unhappy man. I could kill myself trying to fix him and to make him happy.

I should leave him. I should move out.

But I won’t because I am too practical and too sentimental at the same time.

Where would I live for the next two months. I am sure I could find somewhere without much of a problem. But I don’t want to give him up just yet. Because when we are together and he is happy, everything in the world seems right.

I have to go get ready for work.