Reclamation
I must have guessed right, and they confirmed my ownership of the other diary, which I didn’t expect. And why I started a new one. I have associated another email account with the old one – which was the email I could have sworn I had attached to that one… Anyway, I don’t know what I’m going to do with it. Download it and save it somewhere, yes. Keep it up? I’m not sure I want to use it, because this nickname is the one I’m using for anything not attached to my real persona online. That one, poison noir, was good for the time, because I did feel very toxic – as well as relating to Baudelaire’s poem very strongly. Now, if I had kept the original diary I started here, I would gladly claim that one, again. However, I deleted that one long, long before the site went off the air. That would be the one I’d want to explore with my cringe shoulders ready to cringe away. 17 years is one hell of a long time, for the internet.
So much has changed. Yet little really seems changed, from my vantage point. 27 to 44. What a life.
The one about getting drunk? RE: Baudelaire
@iamwilliam “L’Heautontimoroumenos” The one about being unhappy. “C’est tout mon sang, ce poison noir…”
Warning Comment
Oh yeah. Yeah, I totally hear you. Many of my entries are still floating around somewhere in limbo, so my cringe shoulders are relaxed for now. For me, it’s 16 to 33. In-freaking-sane.
@badlydrawn All that time, all those moments, events, things, people, places. Woosh!
Warning Comment
Hi! I also wish I had my old original diary from when I was 17 on here…I deleted it before OD went away. I just have this one left, but I did start a new one too. I was 20 at the beginning of this one, now I’m 35. I think I was kind of toxic then too, but I’m sure we were doing our best! Best of luck to you 🙂 Hope you’re happy with how your life has turned out in the past 17 years. 🙂
@letterstoyou I’m now at that point where I know that this is probably what would have happened, aside of maybe a couple details, and I regret nothing, now. There are just too many big events, decisions, actions to choose from. They’re all linked/interconnected. I can’t point to one thing anymore and say “Ooooh, if only I hadn’t done that.” There are just too many things. I don’t mind anymore. I hope you’re at a decent point, now, too.
Warning Comment