Military Brat

I am a military brat & proud of it
 
This most definitely start some controversy, quite frankly I don’t really care, and I am putting in my 2 cents.

I have found in the past when someone hears or speaks the term "military brat" people automatically assume that we are a bunch of bad tempered, temper tantrum little hooligans. This is not the case, in fact like most things that are coined or phrased is deeply rooted. Or if the (adult) person who is referring to themselves as military brats are told to grow up and become part of the real world as I was told back at the IRO’s Christmas party (back in ’01)

After all we are the children of warriors. And although it was initially a role not of our own choosing, it is a role perpetuated by many of us with pride. Our minds, our hearts return us time and again to the warrior path. It is an attitude, a way of being. Our souls were hammered out on the forge of discipline and dedication, of mission and service to others, of loss and sacrifice in the name of something larger than ourselves.

The word BRAT is actually an acronym which stands for:

Bold
Responsible
Adaptable
Tolerant

Strengths (and weaknesses) of military brats –
Responsibleness: Military brats take the notion of duty very seriously. They routinely give their best effort, and they do everything in their power to keep their word. There is a danger of perfectionism, which sets one up for perceived failure, then guilt and self-condemnation. Military brats also tend to take on too much responsibility and then wear themselves out trying to do everything single-handedly.

Excellent social skills: Military brats can get along with almost anybody except authoritarian types, and sometimes even with them. They tend to be very well suited to work involving a great deal of people contact, or where knowing how to quickly fit in socially is an asset. Military brats protect themselves against loss of friendship, which they tend to consider inevitable, by keeping relationships shallow and short-term. And they assume anyone in authority is an authoritarian, thus creating problems for themselves in the workplace, for instance.

Resilience (or "adaptability," "flexibility," etc.): Military brats seem to be able to cope with almost anything — probably a combination of having moved so many times and of being, in many cases, children of alcoholics. Military brats are so good at adapting that they can become ambivalent and lose sight of their values. It becomes unclear what they really care about, where they draw the line and take a stand.

Loyalty: It would be hard for anyone to outshine a military brat when it comes to this virtue.
Willingness to take risks: Military brats rarely balk at anything new or strange, and are generally able to summon whatever it takes to leap into a new and challenging situation. There is an instinctive understanding that the worst that can happen is that the effort will fail, which in itself is a gain educationally. Military brats have taken massive losses so often that they’ve learned they can survive them and keep on going, it becomes easier to leap into new situations or relationships than to stay with old ones and work through the problems. Military brats might instinctively see to it that they have plenty of change and excitement in life, but they sometimes fall short on actual accomplishment.

Discipline: Those military brats who have internalised a sense of discipline to the point they enjoy controlling and focusing their energies can be extremely productive and efficient. (too often, military brat discipline is dependent on external authority — which also triggers the will to rebel — rather than being genuine self-discipline. They may give the impression of being very self-disciplined, but in fact are quite inconsistent, and may even go haywire for a time once external authority is removed.)

Tolerance: Having had to adapt to many situations and, in some cases, cultures, military brats often learn to appreciate different points of view and the inherent value of diversity.

Idealism: Military brats can be extremely dedicated to matters of principle and will go to extraordinary lengths to promote or defend them. This can give purpose and a depth of meaning to their lives. Also, it’s not unheard of for a military brat to sacrifice way too much for the sake of principle and also known to sacrifice every sort of personal happiness — marriage, family, career, financial security — for the sake of making a point.

Handling crisis well: Military brats often handle emergencies with calm and competence. Others they know sense this and frequently turn to them for help. The more extreme the circumstances, the more they seem to get. Being able to pull everything together at once; knowing exactly the kinds of things that should be handled, and in what order. That is something I known I got from their fathers. (But although there isn’t much of a dark side to this, it would help if military brats could learn to be better at heading off crisis in the first place. Some military brats, however, seem to thrive on crisis — another trait common similar to adult children of alcoholics.)

On roots and "home" – The home that one makes in the spirit and the mind. And that is the home I have found, the home that is shared with other military brats. Home is not a place, but the shared experiences like a Fortress and its many legacies. Our home is hardship and what we learned from it. Our home is a rich fund of values and ideals. Our home is a special quality of freedom that one can obtain only, ironically enough, inside the ironclad Fortress.

"Home" for a rooted civilian is a place to return to so that love and values and memories and a sense of continuity can be replenished. What is found is that we military brats have a home like that too, a home that we all share, that lives in each of us, that we can visit in one another.

Real roots are about connection — the bonding with others who share a similar lived experience — and the recognition that who we are individually is due in large part to that lived experience.

First, beyond any doubt, our lived experiences inside the Fortress shaped and influenced us to such a degree that we bear a distinct identity as military brats and always will. We are who we are. Military brats are brave, capable, idealistic. We are seasoned by tribulation, honed by our sense of commitment.

I am proud to be a military brat, and despite the high price exacted by this lifestyle, I would have it no other way.