falling and failing all at once -_-

boo….bs?

here i go..i guess its time to do some blogging for what reason i dont know maybe for sanity? i dont know but i do know the title says it all…because thats whats happening..i am falling apart at the seams and failing to remeber alot of things..lol ive grown old badly…i swear i am the whipping boy of the gods…i dont even know what to do ….do i stand and fight never falling back or retreat and come back again? ive had this battle many times over and its never gotten any easier…i have choices i know i do but at what price? sanity? emotion? my clan? my family? …i know i am comming to my end…the time where i will have to stand against the inevitable end…but who will be by my side and who will betray me?…does it matter? honnestly no..but when the end comes i hope it quick….right now i am hopefully blank…..and i know all i can do is wait..but for what i am not sure….shit right now i never am sure lol maybe i should retreat and disappear for a while…i might actually be able to quiet the storm in my mind and decide something simple meditation does nothing from what ive noticed….ive known that the luck of mine would surely go bone dry over the centuries…to many close calls to many almosts.. that should of been the end but some how ive evaded…maybe its time to start thinking of the next in line for the de lioncourt clan? i dont know we will see….

maybe the end is near?

Gareth