Strange

It’s strange here alone…even the animals are acting funny.
My sister sue is the excutor of the will…she has all the death certificates…but doesn’t want to part with one…said the funeral home would make me copies..they said no but I told them I needed zerox copies for the credit card people..so he is checking and calling me back.
Mom had me as the beneficiary on her life insurance..there will be a little left after expenses…I can pay bills for at least a couple of months.
My sister is having the foot the bill for things…but its a nice break for me…I’m in massive credit card debt from keeping mom out of collection for medical bills,etc…so its nice seeing the expenses being shared at least this way…I put over six hundred dollars on my discover card at once for a medical bill after mom’s triple bypass…sue had to do it for the opening and closing of the grave.
I’ll probably need an original to close out the checking account..they know me over there…I’m not sure if there will be anything left in it after the bills go through this month.
I opened a checking account today…and I think I have all the utilities in my name now…I went to the graveyard today after everyone left the burial…I didn’t want to be around people…I liked it being just myself..it was mostly just mom and me anyway..and I felt that is how I should have said goodbye too…she said the song by Helen Reddy..You and Me against the world” was our song…I haven’t heard it in years.
It’s hard being alone…people say I will adjust though..I need to clean the house..I’m doing a little at a time…I just don’t feel like it and its really hot.

SurvivorsHope.Com

My goal in life…is to be the kind of person my pets think I am.

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June 6, 2005
June 6, 2005
June 6, 2005

with time you will adjust, but its way to soon to expect that. I know it will be tough and you will have moments where things seem to fall apart, but they won’t! Did you get my email?

June 6, 2005

Don’t worry about the dirty house – it will keep. Allow yourself time to grieve. Its not easy losing your mother. I was 26 when I lost mine. I have adjusted – but never “gotten over” it. Moms are moms….nothing else can substitute…..but life can still be good.

June 7, 2005

You’ve been under incredible stress while managing your mom’s affairs. It would be nice if your sister would give you one original so you could make the copies you need. Reading the death certificate can be upsetting, though, it just makes it all hit home as so very final. ((hugs)) 🙂

June 10, 2005

it is hard to lose someone you love and it looks like you loved your mom so i hope things get better for you.

June 27, 2005

*crying* That was me and my mom’s song too. *hugs you tight* I wish I could say it gets easier quickly…but I can’t lie. It doesn’t. I have a book if you’d like to read it. “Motherless Daughters.”