London on the Horizon

I’ve just received information about studying abroad over this coming summer in London. I really want to go. Perhaps this is the event I’ve been waiting for to knock me into some feeling of direction. Maybe that’s not a good thing to think. There is life outside of where I am and I want to experience it!

A few days ago a friend told me that whoever I end up with is going to be better than my previous-ish guy-friend-person even if he reached his full potential. In some ways I see it, and in others I can’t because I can’t imagine what he’d really be like if he reached his full potential, he’d be so different. But it was a nice thing to say.

This weekend I saw and spent time with the guy I was in love with my senior year of high school. That was a few years ago, of course, and I got over him a long time ago.  We still get along, our ties of friendship are still there, as they are with other of my high school friends. But the idea that when you truly give love to someone else they keep that love with them for the rest of their lives, and you never get what you gave back, that idea proved true. By simply looking at him I remembered, ‘he’ll always have a piece of me.’ A current friend who was with me asked if I was still interested. I laughed at the thought and said, "how could I be?" utterly surprised at the idea because I had not thought about it in years. We’re slightly different people now, it’d be a whole new ball game. Not to mention we’ve barely spoken in the last 4 years, and we live in different cities. He might always have the love I gave, but that doesn’t mean anything about the future. Besides, he’s younger than me by about a year, and if you know me, you know I prefer someone older.