The “closure chat”

So what happened… well we met at 19.30 that evening in a local pub and talked a bit. There is not that much to tell really… we didn’t talk about every topic as the time just wasn’t right and emotions where still too fresh for that. There were a few tears on my end of course and he wiped his eyes very subtle on his sleeve a few times too but we were very civil to each other. No giving out, blaming or shouting or anything. However I did give him a bit of advice as he admitted he is very inexperienced about relationships and all. So all in all it was a good talk. The only straight question I asked him was why he ignored me and guess what he said!!!! Oh God! Such a typical example of misunderstandings leading to grief and people just not communicating properly. He said: “Well you said you needed space.” Me: “What???” Him: “Well you said you needed three weeks.” Me: “What?? When did I say THAT???” He said: “Well you said that you will feel bad and that it will take you about three weeks to get better.” Then it dawned on me and I was like: “Oh my god!!! That’s how you interpreted that?? What I said was that I am gonna be very upset for a few weeks… and that maybe during the time I might send him a nasty text that I don’t really mean but that it will just be a very emotional time (btw I didn’t send him ANY nasty texts or blew up his phone or anything. I behaved perfectly as far I he’s concerned anyway) . That’s all I said! I never said that I didn’t want to hear from you or anything. I was really hurt that you didn’t acknowledge my “how are you” text messages. (there were only two)” So anyway he then said that he understood it the other way and that he also was afraid that if we’d talk to early we might get into a fight and it would make things worse etc. So I guess that’s sorta fair enough cos we were both on edge with that story and also about work. So it probably was better. Still though… replying to my "have a good weekend" text wasn’t really much to ask. All I wanted was something like: "Thanks Nadine you have a good weekend too 🙂 " i didn’t expect anything else… oh well… lol… different strokes… different folkes… i have to stop taking things so personal…

Anyway he told me he read the letter Monday night until 1 in the morning very carefully and that he was very touched by it because he saw once again how extremely similar we are. He said that he feels like he’s looking in a mirror when he sees me and that I “hit the nail on the head” with the letter that a lot of things were exactly as I had described as in what I think happened. He also said that because we are so very similar and all that he would be very sad if I wasn’t a part of his life anymore going forward and that he hopes that with a bit of time we can salvage the friendship.
And yes that’s exactly how I feel too. When I got home I cried quite a bit of course and couldn’t sleep for a long time but when I woke up the next morning I felt better than I have in the last three weeks. So the meeting was definitely a good thing and very beneficial. We have agreed that we would meet again after we’re both back from holidays. He’s going on Monday and I am going on Thursday so we will meet in about two weeks time or so. I guess we will approach this whole thing in small chunks you know? I think that’s a very healthy approach and I have a good feeling about this and I think that we can be friends sometime. All good. Finally.