Ok…

Not sure if I had mentioned that I wrote Ferdinand a 22 page letter… well smallish pages… so around 11 A4 pages. Anyway… it was a long, long long… loooong letter 🙂 I had written everything I wanted to say and he wouldn’t give me a chance to say… how I feel/felt, what i think happened from my point of view, that I think we should have talked about things more, that I think we should have taken things slower etc etc etc…. really addressed every single thing in it. I had sent that letter off a while back but due to Paddy’s Day I thought that he wouldn’t receive it before thursday last week… latest Friday anyway. So …. the whole weekend passed without me hearing ANYTHING. I told my friend Annika on Monday and she thought that he was acting REALLY weird. Well yeah… behaving like a little boy. So I was having the "fuck it" attitude and today I wrote him a mail saying (very friendly but assertive!) that I am sure he agrees that it’s only fair that he gives me the money for the fligth I paid for him (he wanted to come to germany with me over easter to meet my family… his idea not mine) back and that he also still has my Rage against the machine concert tickets and that i’d like to have them please and could he leave them on my desk.

So… judging by his past behaviour i literally thought he’d just send me the money via PayPal as suggessted and leave the tickets on my desk in work but BEHOOOOLD he suddenly stood beside my desk… SHOCK!!!! I acted all "ice queen" and just held my hand out for the tickets when he said: "I got your email… " then he said: "I also only got your letter yesterday and read it" i just kinda nodded very drily (didn’t particulary want to talk about any letters i had written in front of my colleagues) and he then asked me if i had time that week to meet. I sorta said "i guess so" and went back to work.

I send him an instant message a while later saying i was a bit stressed and thanks for the ticket. So anyway… we messaged a while and the outcome is that we’ll meet tomorrow evening in a local pub to "discuss the letter"

I am not really in the mood… but I guess it’s good to get it over and done with… even if it will open up old wounds…. judging by the way I was shaking when he had left and the way my heart was beating in my throat it’s obvious I am not over all this yet… but yeah maybe tomorrow night will be quite a "nice" meeting…w ho knows what he really has to say… either way I am sure it will be beneficial… I just have to try and leave my emotions to the side for once and look at it rather rationally…. I know I can make it…

In other news: I’ve just booked myself on an Italian beginners course. I have been wanting to learn Italian for years really and now I finally got my ass up and booked a course. I also am thinking of booking a holiday to Tuscany in August… details are still being finalized so stay tuned… 🙂