that’s what I want

money money money…

just another rant about money. I’m not so sure that I want to go into all the background, but if anyone actually reads this, I guess it’d be helpful.

I have three jobs currently. one: assistantship on campus in an office. it’s 12-15 hours a week and pays for three classes out of the entire year (I took 9 classes this school year). so that’s roughly $2,000 a class….$6,000 basically for this job.

two: my work with the disabled adult male. I work about 10 hours a week (actually, it’s usually less) at basically $10 an hour.

three: sunday morning church nursery supervisor. I make $40 a week, but of course I miss a week every so often.

I love job number one – I will be renewing that contract for the next school year. I hate job number two more and more each day. at this point, it’s unhealthy for me to continue working there. it’s verging on re-traumatizing. I love job number three – but my hours may be reduced in the fall.

another assistantship came up that was absolutely PERFECT for me. I won’t go into the details. I heard informally that I had gotten the position, which basically replaced my despised second job at 10 hours a week for basically $10 an hour (or two classes – which is $4,000 for the school year). I began making arrangements to quit my second job and take this one.

I got completely screwed. I’m not going to go into it, because it makes me too upset.

I really don’t know what to do. I don’t want to keep the job I have. the flexible hours and the great company are the bonuses, as well as the pay, but the drawbacks are too great: the trip is too far to drive with the price of gas, the frustrating position has not changed or improved in the past 8 months that I have been there, and the client’s relationship with me is positively unhealthy.

the other job, among many professional/personal bonuses, offered some important ones: the majority of my hours would be self-chosen (meaning anytime I want to do the work), and the amount of driving distance would similarly be my own choice and therefore minimized.

and with my crazy schedule, this is important. I have 15 hours a week at my campus assistantship, 10 hours a week at my practicum site, and 4 classes, which is basically 12 hours a week. Those are all during the work week – then there is homework time, my sunday morning job, and my own sanity: time for fun, for going home, for buying groceries, for cleaning my apartment once in an ungodly while.

how can I really fit in another part time jobs? almost any job – especially any decent one – would be during the workday, and I just can’t fit that. I can fit in one full day a week – a tuesday – or two afternoons a week: tuesday and friday afternoons. I can really only manage 10 hours a week like that. similarly, it’s not much of a better idea to get a weekend, evening, or overnight job.

actually, the only one that seems possible is working 3rd shift at an inpatient unit. it would mean I could get homework done on the clock – but it would mean staying up all night. while I am capable of it, I think it would also screw with my health.

I have a little fantasy that I can find a young parent who would pay me one day or two afternoons a week to watch her kid(s). that would be great! not clinically relevant, but also not a difficult job for me. quite the opposite – it would be rejuvenating.

so my other little fantasy is that maybe I don’t need to get another job immediately. maybe I can make it a few months – until another job pops up – without.

the only way that that would work is if my dad continues to send me $100 a week. but I can’t count on him for that, and the checks are less consistent lately. actually, he is supposed to pay the full settlement in august. but that settlement is wrapped up in an estate, and with the housing market all screwed up, there’s no chance he’ll have the money. if only I could count on him to continue to send me weekly money. if only that, then I would be okay. I’m okay with not getting the lump sum settlement – as long as I know that he’ll keep sending the weekly checks.

but there’s no way I could trust that.

so right now, the answer is still to just sit on this – too many things are up in the air. there are still people to talk to. there is still a degree of disbelief over what happened. there is still this magical belief that things will somehow work out, that something will happen – something will land in my lap to resolve this.

so I’ll wait a little bit longer.