legacy left behind

today I found myself on hanover’s campus once more. I was meeting with michelle to work on our research project. the students are still gone on break, but the campus was still more active than I expected when I arrived. maintenance men were all around, and it looked like all of the staff was back at work, if not some of the professors.

a little while back, I realized that I had not ventured up to the counseling services offices since graduating. katie and I had created a mandala together to represent our work together. it served as a sort of goodbye present to her – something that she could keep and remember me by. she promised to frame it and hang it somewhere around her office. I couldn’t remember if she ever actually had, and part of me worried that she wouldn’t actually do it.

so today I arrived about 10 minutes early, and I headed up there. I hoped that no one would be there today. I didn’t see either therapist, and the other office doors were closed. I knew and loved the women behind those doors, but hoped they wouldn’t actually open their doors for me. I wanted to have my moment alone up here.

my drawing was hanging on the far wall, visible just as you enter the space, having arrived at the top of the stairs. opposite my picture was aureola’s painting from years ago, in our first group therapy.

I stepped up close to my drawing, smiling at the details of it. I could no longer remember which line, which color, had been drawn by me or by katie. it didn’t matter anymore. I stepped back, and once again took in the view of my drawing along one side, aureola’s along the other. I missed aureola tenderly in that moment, and I marveled at the legacy we had left on this little corner of hanover college. I doubted that aureola fully knew or appreciated the mark that she had left. but this little corner had been my safest place, had been the place to mark so much change and growth and to hold so many tender moments. I am so glad to know that my mark here remains.