initiative

well, mail-room-guy asked me out.

he asked me out on wednesday. it was the usual awkwardness when I saw him that afternoon – I was distracted with sorting mail to send out and the mail for me to pick up, and he made random statements in my direction in between random pauses. “looks like you got a box.” I said yeah, looking at the small box, likely containing a book, in my pile. (he was looking at the post-it above the mail slot that indicates that a much larger box is waiting elsewhere, but I didn’t realize that.) later, he mumbled something about my hair cut, indicating that my hair must be different. and I said no, it was probably just extra frizzy because of the rainy day. finally, I indicated that I was leaving, and he hurriedly said that I still needed to get my box. I was already holding one, so I didn’t realize what he was talking about at first. he looked hurt that I was actually going to leave without it!

he grabbed some keys and led me down the hall to a separate room, where large boxes awaiting pick-up are held. he also showed me a sheet to fill out, signing for the box. I was confused because we’d already done this before, and he hadn’t asked me to sign for it before. while I was figuring out what to write on the sheet, he was asking me out. he asked if I was doing anything this weekend, and I said distractedly that I wasn’t sure yet. he asked if I wanted to do something, and I said, stupidly, “like what?” while wondering whether I should put my name on this line, or my boss’s. then he thrust a pad of post it notes at me, and I couldn’t figure out why at first. he wanted me to write down my phone number. oh right, right.

so last night we talked on the phone for two hours. it was sort of ridiculous. I didn’t really WANT to waste all of that time on the phone. all this talking – that’s what the date is for! what are we going to talk about on the date? he asked tons of questions of me, but didn’t always answer them himself. he told tons of long, random stories that hardly related to whatever we were talking about. example: at one point he joked that I might just hang up on him because he was talking too much. I assured him I wouldn’t, then said that come to think of it, I actually had done that before. but I couldn’t remember to whom. that reminded him of a story.

he told me about his female-friend’s friend, who is also his sister’s friend, and happens to be a bitch. she also has a boyfriend who is an idiot and takes everything from her. he’s in the army or coast guard or something, it’s pathetic that he’s defending our country but can’t stand up to this bitchy woman. anyway, they were all helping his sister move a couple weeks ago…..(and the story goes on and on)….and he ends up slamming a door in the bithy woman’s face.

woah! where did such a story come from?

some parts of the conversation were very intertaining, though. such as when he told me about his name/heritage. his family is from puerto rico, and his name is puerto rican. his name isn’t really frank, that’s just what he goes by. he’s bilingual. so all of that explains why he seemed different and reminded me of Ryan. his skin and hair is a little darker than most midwesterners, and he’s shorter.

you know, I was hoping that I’d be really looking forward to this date by the time it got here, but I’m not really. I don’t feel that interested in him. I’m glad to have someone new to talk to, someone to go out with. but I don’t think that this is a guy that I would want to date.

I happened to watch a segment on a talkshow about chivalry, so now I’m thinking about it and ticked. I don’t like chivalry, and I think it should die. I like friendliness and politeness, but not chivalry. I don’t think that there are specific things that men should do to make “a woman feel like a woman.” it’s just stupid to pull out chairs and close car doors for women. and the other things are things that anyone can do to be polite/friendly to anyone else – open doors, help carry bags. that’s just being kind, and any woman or man should be able to do that for anyone else. I enjoy doing those kinds of things for strangers, man or woman! if I get to a door first, and someone else is behind me, I will hold the door for that person and let them go in first.

but it just makes me angry that women think that men they date should do this for them, that men think that women need this sort of treatment. it makes me angry when men do it to me. the last boyfriend I had only did those things every once in a while, and once I accused him of doing it just to show off to other men in public. I got mad at ryan for doing those types of things on our trip and refusing to let me hold a door for him, or walk with him when he had to park the car far away.

anyway, if frank does it tonight I know I’m going to be instantly ticked, just because I’ve already been thinking about it today. if he tries anything like to kiss me or hold my hand, I’m probably be offended. I want to try dating again, but I don’t want anything to move that fast. but there’s no way for him to know yet. I haven’t told him anything about dad yet. I don’t even want to yet.

another thing about this guy….he’s almost 30. I never pictured myself dating someone so much older than me. I knew he was older, but I didn’t realize he was THAT much older. I think a good line to draw would be 1980…that’s five years older than me, but at least it’s in the same decade.

I don’t feel like we have too much stuff in common. he likes karaoke bars, and I like to drink wine. he’s obsessed with movies and tv and comic books, and I like novels. he wants to be a screenwriter, so he writes a lot of crazy sci fi ish stuff, and I write about my own life. we do both love musicals, which is great, and I’m really hoping he decides we go see hairspray tonight. if we do, that will REALLY cheer me up.

I said I was’t picky about food, and he said sushi it is. I said I haven’t really tried it before, and he said it’s his favorite. he gave me a chance at first to pick or state a preference, so I suppose it’s my fault, but I’m pretty apprehensive about trying sushi with him. what if I hate it?

so if I can just get my mood up, I’m sure I’ll have a lot of fun. but if I stay this grumpy….it’s going to be a long night.