“I’m not gonna be alright, not tonight”

   So… just decided since I can’t sleep at its now…. 6 in the morning I would get on here and type up a little entry. I’m pretty positive I could sleep if I actually tried, but Savi and I just haven’t felt the urge to actually stop eating sugar and to stop wasting away on our laptops.
   My weekend is going by so fast…. I’m guess it’s because of my trip to Munising. For my National Parks and Monuments class we (the whole class consisting of the prof, two other students, and myself) went to Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore. Sure the whole area was covered in a ridiculous amount of snow but it was soooo beautiful there anyway. We got there at around 5 or 6 on Friday and I got to go snowshoeing for the first time. Considering what a clumsy ass I can make of myself I did suprisingly well. We walked for about 3 miles all over Lake Superior and I got some pretty pictures cause the sun was getting a little low in the sky. We went back to our hotel and got unpacked a little. Our hotel was freaking nice too! It was one of those Holiday Inn’s that had that… commercial rustic feel to it, and it had a pool, nuff said. So after we were settled in my two classmates and I went swimming for quite awhile. I forgot how much I love to swim, I seriously need to start going over to the Norris Center to swim once in a while. Well anyway, the next day, Saturday morning, we went to breakfast and then packed up to head back to the park. We met with the chief interpreter there and he explained a bit about the area to us. After that was over we made a short little hike up a trail to see the falls. I got some even more beautiful pictures there, and now I’m dying to go back in the summer because I can’t imagine what it would look like then.
   I got back here and then pretty much the rest of my day was spent with Savi. As soon as I got her I climbed onto Kate’s bed to talk, and then I turned around on my knee’s to open the window. As I was turning back I hear this sickening pop and I grab my knee and force it back in as soon as possible. Honestly… I wanted to throw myself out the window cause the pain was making me about sick to my stomach. I loved the fact I could hike around on 3 miles of ice (my worst enemy), and slick snow packed trails without even a tiny fall… you put me on a soft bed and I about break my leg. So we pretty much spent the rest of the night watching movies and eating pizza/candy. Now we both are on a sugar buzz and can’t sleep.
   As for everything else in my life…. I haven’t been as happy as I had been recently. I have my moments when I cheer up but I’m just not… generally happy. I spose it’s for a lot of different reasons pilled on top of one another… but I’m working as hard as I can to just forget about the bad and try to be happy. Of course as soon as I say that I get the "Don’t Worry Be Happy" song stuck in my head… well that’s gonna get annoying.
   School is going as good as it can be. I’m sure I could be working harder, and I have picked it up a notch or two but I’m still getting A’s and B’s regardless. Now I just have to wait till the 1st to find out if I make it into the fall clinical rotation. And honestly… I’ve been looking at the way my schedule is going to be set up… I’m gonna die. I have no idea how I’m going to deal with the hectic squished nursing schedule, clinicals, fitting in honors credits, getting two jobs, AND still find a way to maintain somewhat of a normal social life. I’m this close to moving out to Nevada where brothels are legal and making my way through life as a hooker…. Sure it may not be as rewarding as being a nurse but I just keep getting so frustrated!
   As for my social life… friends are good. Drama always tends to rear it’s ugly head but what can ya do, it’s college and shit happens. As long as I can be there for my friends that’s all I care about, because they’re always right there for me. As for the social life involving guys… not really flourishing. Sure there was a guy I was interested in, and even missed talking to while I was gone, but now I’m not so sure about him anymore. And Nick and I… well that’s a very different issue. We have this friends, love, hate, want to kill sometimes, want to be with more than anything sometimes relationship. It’s very awkward but as of right now I am kinda ticked at him even though I shouldn’t be<img src="http://www.opendiary.com/images/smileys/0016.gif&#8221; alt=”” />.
   Only a few more weeks of school left and then I’m going to be able to get back downstate and maybe see some grass. Oh the excitement! I’m dying to go over to Portage Point again and swim my little heart out. I’m also really excited to go see Em and stay awhile with her this summer. As for my Chicago trip in May, I’m excited to be with Savi and Nick M. but at the same time… because of the guy I mentioned earlier I’m in a sticky situation with that. But hopefully everything will work out and I can just enjoy my one road trip before I start working.
   I think I’m going to go through this entry now to add me some emoticons. And SON OF A BITCH! Savi and I just realized it’s almost 7 in the morning, people are getting up for church, and the sun is coming up…. so we’ve decided we are just going to stay up for the rest of Sunday. So hopefully today my tiredness won’t prevent me from working on my paper, and studying for A&P… DAMN! This entry is long… okay I’m done with my rambling. The lyrics I put on here really don’t mean anything in particular, just heard it and liked it.

SOMETHING CORPORATE LYRICS

"This Broken Heart"

you woke up, in pieces
from making these changes
and holding me ransom, won’t write you an anthem
on the outside, i’m trying, ’cause inside, i’m dying

this broken heart was stronger than
now i can’t stand to part with this
this broken heart

you took me for granted
now i’ve changed, you haven’t
it won’t be so easy to sell me this feeling

this broken heart was stronger than
the words i wish you never meant
this broken heart

can’t make this right, you see on my face,
that i’m not gonna be alright, not tonight,
you can read all my letters, but that won’t mean things are fine,
not this time, ’cause you gave away all the secrets of you and i

this broken heart was stronger than
now i can’t stand to part with this
this broken heart was stronger than
the words i wish you never meant
this broken heart