“I make plans to break plans”

    Okay I just felt like writing some poems tonight… yes interesting since I’m just SOOOO creative. Well I just felt like typing them out cause they look purty that way. So on with my poems… some are recent some are old*back when I dated Benny Boy*. Some are important to me while others are just goofs… So here they are:

Dreaming Away Pain
My dreams are my only haven
I cry waiting for them to come
I awake and my precious eden is gone
My life drags by so slowly
I could end it
But the one I truly love has stopped me
He is what I live for
Yet his image is blurred
His voice is all I own
All I can claim as mine
I know this is sad
I know this is pathetic
Why do you think I live in my dreams
There I have everything
I have him

The Day Will Come
I would give anything to be with him
I will always need him
I can never have him
I have to leave him
I could end my pain
I love him yet this is hell
I know what I should do
I can’t leave him
I can’t be without him
This is what they call love
This extreme pain and torment
I pray the good will overcome the evil
Until then I cry away my pain
I will put on a mask of happiness
Someday that mask may become reality
Someday soon

Emily
They are friends
Always were and always will be
The one can always trust the other
There’s a bond no one can break
No person, event or emotion and destroy
Relationships come and go
But they… they will last forever
One will fight for the other
Together they are strong
No one could hurt them when they are one
They are one
Indestructible
Can comfort and reassure
Perfect definition of friends

Emily The Computer Junkie
She stares
Into the floresent colors
They captivate her
They carry her away
To the point no one can reach her
Meer words upon a screen
They mezmorize her
Sucking her in with every keystroke
She tries to hold on to reality
She feels guilty
It drifts through in seconds
She changes
Her quiet shyness turned to silent glares
This is her life
Just dotted with points of reality
She always goes back
To her chat… to her internet… to her chair
She always goes back

Car Crash Poem
                     She screamed as she heard the screaching and crunching.
Everything was dark as she cried.
          She reached for him blindly.
                  He found her and held her.
    As he talked it sounded like a good-bye.
                She looked upon him with pleading eyes.
   Begging him to not leave her.
       His breathing slowed.
            His grip lightened.
    She shook him and realized the life gone from his eyes.
                   She screamed for him to hold her.
   His blank stare held her reply.
She tried to kick and get out.
           But she was stuck.
                                        In the dark.
With the lifeless body of the boy she gave her heart to.

Fuck What They Want
They say we’re wrong
This isn’t sensible
Not the way things are supposed to go
We know they’re right
Yet you don’t give up
You don’t let me go
Even when I yell and cry
You stay and say you love me
I would do anything for you
I break relationships for you
Even if you disagree
Fuck what others think
We know this will work
Screw sensible we love each other

Why?
she can’t explain. she wants to believe.
screaming out into the cold lonely night.
every night she rests her head and closes her eyes.
it is a dreamless toss and turn. she fights her thoughts deep inside.
her life could be worse. she knows this.
yet deep inside she is restless.
she prays for thed ay of her last breath.
when the day comes she can finally dream.

Whirlwind
so indescribable
this random rushed romance
it’s exactly what he dreamed
it’s exacly what she needed
her smile makes him weak
his intent stare makes her melt
is it not love
this crazy jumble of feelings
if not…
what are people living for

My One and Only Man
No matter what he stays, through breakups and the "end of the world".
Her loyal knight there from the start.
His long golden locks take the place of a pillow in early mornings.
He’s there to cry on.
He’s there to play on a sunny day.
Although… he gets older now.
Not as young and vibrant.
But just as caring and huggable.
The day she loses him will come…
A part of her will die.
Even if he is only a dog he will be her one and only.

Such a Mess
              It’s all such a mess in here.
  Such a depressed girl delling within.
                    Why can’t she just leave.
        My heart is mended.
                           My goals reached.
    Yet such a sad girl inside.
           Something no medication, no love, no person can fix.
                All the sadness… all the horrible sights seen.
       Belong to this one girl… locked away inside.
   Hiding her memories from the rest.
             It’s all such a mess in here.

HE BROKE ME!
He broke her spirit!
He killed her smile!
He broke his promises!
He shattered their furture together!
He tor

e her vision of perfection to bits!
He took her dreams and ripped them apart!
…It’s amazing how good he was at destryoing things…
Especially her heart

Her sweet boy…
He came to her out of nowhere.
Now he is everywhere to be seen.
This sweet boy of her dreams.
He fixed her broken heart.
Mended her self-esteem.
Showed what love can truely be.
All of this just for her love in return.
Which sounds so simple.
Yet it truely so hard for her broken heart to give.