Talking to the moon

I’ve decided to do a new thing for all my entries. Throw in a song at the beginning (: 

Talking to the moon by Bruno Mars .

So just a warning. The first portion of the entry probably won’t make any sense..
If you have questions , keep in mind i might not have an answer for you.
Read if you’d like.

 Ive never felt so torn apart before, ever. I’ve never let anyone close enough that they know me well enough to be able to hurt me , if that makes sense. I dont like admitting a lot of things, because there are people who depend on me to pull them back up. I practically lay in bed every night thinking of what used to be, and what could’ve been. and thats not something i choose to do. i hate it. but it wont leave my mind. && I’m trying so hard to put things behind, but i just can’t. I really don’t another "Youre still young, dont worry" speech. I don’t know what im doing. I feel like everything i’ve done in the past few weeks was because it was an obligation and because i HAD to. I don’t know what i want. I don’t know what i’m going to do. 

Okay so i think i messed up my back lately. It’s been hurting since maybe the Los Angeles trip. At first i figured i was just sore from moving, but noope.. I reckon its a knot or maybe scoliosis decided to kick in again . Finally decided to tell mum about it last night , and guess who’s going to see the doctors next week, blah. I’m hoping he doesn’t make me stop dancing…

In regards to school .. it’s boring and tiring. I’ve been getting 5 hours of sleep a day (3 last night ..) , and being tormented by 11 hour of school on select days. My biology and math textbooks aren’t even books .. they’re like bricks with words in them. I could probably kill someone with it. It’s a dangerous weapon /: My studio arts teacher kind of scares me.. she looks like a teacher from Hogwarts or something. What else … ah, remember those guys i mentioned in my previous entry? Totally and completely over that after a day haha. I mean yeeahh.. they’re good looking but that’s about it. It’s getting on my nerves ; the amount of girls that are drooling over them for how they look. Fuck, you don’t even know who they really are! I know a few girls who even changed her whole schedule to get a class with these guys. How pathetic.

You know what i hate? ..
Not having something to look forward to. It’s horrible! Gahhh. Hopefully something turns up soon.
Well that’s all i have on my mind today.

God help me ,
Pheebs .