What kind of girl do you take me for…

     Sitting here listening to Promiscuous.  This song is an embarassment to music in general and yet I’ve had it on repeat for the past fifteen minutes wishing I could release some of this stress I’m feeling in the most primal of ways.  Bleh.  Just had another guy explain to me that the reason he’d been failing to talk to me was because he’d picked up a girlfriend.  This was a guy I’d been sort of interested in, and had seemed interested in me.  But of course life has a way of fucking me up the ass in the romance department.
     I wonder why?  With this unlucky streak it has to be something I’m doing…some way I behave, something I say, some pheremone I emit.  I couldn’t tell you.  It’s just depressing.
     Fall party was somewhat of a strange phenomena.  A line was crossed that should have been left alone and now I am pretending very hard that it didn’t happen, slowly forgetting it to the best of my ability.  I’m also not speaking to someone right now…mostly because I’m tired of everything he does getting to me.  It’s dumb, and I don’t need it.  I’m sorry if he needs someone right now…when did friendships start hinging entirely on the basis of crisis?  Why should he ignore me unless I’m having an emergency?  That’s not friendship…that’s your therapist…a business relationship.  Not friendship.
     Meh….so now I’m stuck feeling sad, undesireable, a little nauseas…and all around exhausted.
     I want something so simple, that it’s impossible to have.  How strange is that?