*Something is Broken Here pt 2
“I came here to ease your pain, not add to it. I’m sorry.” He turned and slipped away into the crowd before I could move towards him or speak.
Was this how it would always be? Love and lose every time? Nothing is constant, like the fierce sway of bodies that moved my body for me. My will had nothing to do with it. Every little circle of security would break and send me crashing back into the noise and frenzy of the world. Well forget it then. Why should I fight the undertow? I could drift a while.
It had been foolish. Here I was, already unsteady from Phoenix’s sudden disappearance, and I’d convinced myself that maybe Kai…That much was my fault. I wouldn’t hold it against him. I’d move forward, leaving it behind me like dust from my heels.
I pushed my way through the crowd, towards the bar. My first new experience…I was going to get drunk. The nearest bartender nodded towards me for my order. “Rum and Coke,” I told him, and perched myself on a stool.
The drink came back in a tall class with ice. He didn’t even card me, just took my five and moved down the line. The drink was bitter as it slid down my throat, hitting my stomach like a slap. Warmth followed in its wake, and despite the nasty taste it left in my mouth. I ordered another.
“I’ll get that, thanks.” Someone reached out and handed the bartender another five. I followed the arm with my eyes back to the shoulders and chest it belonged to. After a moment longer I made it to a familiar face.
“Rex?”
He smiled, showing off the dimples in his cheeks. His pale eyes sparkled with mirth, stark against the deep tan of his skin and the inky blackness of his short hair. “None other, sweetness.”
I swallowed the drink down in three gulps, then gasping asked, “Where’s your carbon copy?”
Rex nodded behind me, and sure enough on my other side his twin brother Reg leaned against the bartop. “I thought I saw your sweet ass out on the dance floor with one Mr. Winters. I can’t lie…I was a little jealous.”
I laughed, and it came out like shards of glass in my throat. “Well if you buy me a drink, I promise you get the next dance.”
Immediately he turned and ordered drink number three. Rex was watching me, his eyes crinkled at the edges with thought. “Are you okay? I mean, you look a bit red.<span style="mso-spa
cerun: yes”> Have you been crying?”
“It’s just hot in here,” I lied. Another fresh experience. Look here…I could join the masses.
Reg handed me drink number three and two gulps later it was gone. The fierce burn was already starting to dull, and I could feel the warmth it left in my stomach spreading through my limbs. I never drank because it was considered an occupational hazard. Guess this was that thing called tolerance coming back to kick me in the ass.
“Ready to dance?” I stood up, and the room swirled. “Whoa!” Reg laughed, catching me against his chest. I could feel the warmth of him beneath my palms, as I pressed against him for support. He was a werewolf, and I’d forgotten just how high their temperatures naturally ran. It seeped into my fingertips, still chilled by the last remaining dregs of Kai’s presence, and replaced the cold with fire.
Suddenly Rex was behind me, his hands delicately on my hips. “Why don’t we take you home, honey?” he asked, but I was distracted. Somehow they’d formed a cocoon of warmth on both sides of me, and as it banished the ice inside of me little by little I snuggled back against him.
Reg glanced over me at his brother, and they shared one of those private understanding looks. Usually I care…usually I try to figure out what it’s all about. Not tonight. I was so warm…almost peaceful.
Their car wasn’t far, but by the time we made it to the parking lot my legs felt considerably less certain of themselves and my walking became an exaggerated bounce. Even as I could feel it, I didn’t really care. All that mattered was staying close to their heat, fire to feed my insides, burn away the remnants of things I couldn’t deal with. Their heat could make me forget about Phoenix’s unexplained disappearance, and Kai’s swift exit. And if you can’t remember, it can’t hurt you. They would leave me too, of course, but with smiles and no hurt feelings…because this wasn’t about feelings.
It was about heat…theirs to mine, because this fire couldn’t burn me.
***
more updates on my life expected…possibly tomorrow during the party. probably sunday/monday spectrum of things. Maybe pictures too…if things go well 🙂