I’m jaded now whatever that means

I think I have forgotten how to believe in the Otherworld.  I have become the Staunch Realist that I always feared becoming, and now there is no magic here.

     I am reading a collection of Irish Ghost and Haunting stories.  They are quite interesting, especially the etymology of the word "Banshee" which is from the Irish "bean-sidhe" meaning litterally Woman of the Faerie.  Neat huh?  And of course I’ve looked further into the story of the Pooka, or the phouka, which has always held that edge of fascination for me.  I’m really very interested in faerie mythology.  Marrows is the Irish for mermaid, etc.  Who knows what I will return home with the knowledge of.

    I guess I came to Ireland in hopes of finding something to awaken my belief in the Otherworld and restore my creativity to where it once was.  There was nothing I so feared as losing my imagination and here I find myself running dry, not for the first time in my life, which is perhaps the scariest part of all.

     I want to come home…there is more magic there among the people who love and care about me than here in this place where I can’t find steady footing.  I’ve forgotten something over these past few months that I need to reclaim…something I didn’t know I could forget.  Once I find it out I’ll be able to return happily to Ireland and see it as the fresh and beautiful experience I really need in my life. 

     I really do love this place…but I’m ready to go home and gether myself back together. 

     Let no one tell you that going abroad is easy…its amazing, intense, frightening, overewhelming, and life altering….but never easy.  :-*

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