*Meditation

Amadeus sat, as always, cross-legged with his hands palm-up on his knees, back in a perfect straight line. Having taken several courses in etiquette during my younger years I had to admit a certain envy of him. I was definitely a sloucher. The early morning light was pouring over the horizon slowly and lighting the park in that ethereal haze just before true light. I always loved this time of morning. Correction- I loved this time of morning if it was the last thing I saw before going to bed. I am not a morning person.

I moved silently through the dew-moistened grass, relishing the sharp chill of it against the pads of my paws. Amadeus stirred slightly upon my approach and turned warm eyes on me. His smile was that same aloof twist of lips that never quite spread to the rest of his face, but I knew he was glad to see me.

I sat down beside him, curling my long tail about myself and stared off in the direction we faced. Amadeus resumed his former pose and posture, and for a time I simply listened to the sound of his rhythmic breathing. Sometimes, in human form, I would join him, following his breathing with mine until I felt light-headed. On rare occasions, just after the light headedness I would feel that strange transcendence of deep meditation, as if Amadeus had wrapped a chain about my waist and drawn me up with him. The feeling never lasted long, however, and I would find myself sprawled across the floor, Amadeus watching me with a slight twinge of humor to his eyes. Then he would go on without me, and I would spend the next hour struggling to catch up.

Today, in animal form, I could not meet him breath for breath because a cats body, even one so large as the snow leopard I inhabited now, breathed quicker regularly. Still, I sat up straight as I could, closed my eyes, and felt the rush and sigh of my own breathing. Very slowly, I became aware of the tumbling base of Amadeus voice, speaking Noktyre.

“Nomes thep oba durnem.“*

In my mind I repeated the words, breath in, breath out, chanting silently all the while, until that first rush of dizziness overtook me. I chanted on, releasing inhibitions, tumbling my own inner barriers until I lay naked before the universe and exposed to her will. Then she took me up, and it was as if the earth had surged up through me and burst my skin. I was no longer leopard, nor human, nor single entity at all. I was everything from the swinging of the moon, to the slow grinding turn of the earth. I was, for what felt like hours, the universe.

I awoke in Amadeus arms, and we were walking from the park. The sun was less than a centimeter higher on the horizon, and though I felt as if weeks had passed, I knew it wasnt true. Lazily I craned my neck to lick gratefully at Amadeus cheek, but when he looked down at me there was something strange about his eyes.

“I did nothing, panthera unica. You found it all by yourself.” That strange look remained, and I couldnt understand it, except that it filled his whole face. And perhaps that was why I couldnt understand. But I was too blissfully tired to worry with it, and so I snuggled deeper into his arms, and let him carry my out to his car.

We drove to his place, climbed together into bed, and he stroked a hand lazily through my fur as the sun burst full into the sky, and fell asleep.

***

Look at you! You have for lit from me! *cuddles you*

Noktyre* All is one forever