A life still on hold

I’m now into the fourth month of my being on leave. And have been getting rather angry. I don’t hold the Investigating Office for the delay in the complainant lodging a formal written complain. However, I do blame them for the unprofessional and unjust manner in which the process has unfolded.

I would have thought that once a complain was made, someone from the Office would contact the person to be investigated by mail to inform him or her of the complaint, to instruct him or her as to how the process would unfold, what he or she could and could not do or say, what support was available to him or her, what his or her rights were, and ways in which to minimise stress and depression while the process ran its course. I would also have thought that this written communication would be followed up by a phone call from the Office. This did not happen. The only time I have had contact with the Office is when I have contacted them.

I would have thought that the Office would be in touch with the person at least fortnightly to inform him or her as to the progress (or lack thereof) of the investigation so as to reassure the person that the case had not been forgotten about and to ascertain how he or she was coping. This has not happened.

The complainant was interviewed in the second week of September. So far I have had no communication from the Office as to when I might expect to be interviewed.

All this lef me to make a stand last Friday. I rang the bishop and informed him that I would be resigning from the priesthood if:

1) by 5pm this Tuesday I was not contacted by the Office to arrange an interview; and,

2) this appointment was not to take place before 5pm this Friday.

I then faxed him a written copy of what I had just said.

Thirty minutes later he called to inform me that the Office would contact me on Tuesday to arrange an interview!

Why did it have to get to this point of desperation? I am suffering, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and financially because of these very poor practices. My family, especially my mother, is under huge stress. My friends and fellow priests, my parishioners, all are being hurt by these less than professional standards. I have baptisms, weddings and other end of year functions approaching. Whether I am able to function as a priest for these is still in doubt. I have had to inform families that I am unable to assist at the funerals of their loved ones.

I have suffered depression, and have now moved on. That turned to anger, which reached a head on Friday. Today I was chatting with a dear friend and he restored some balance to my life. He pointed out that for me to leave the priesthood when I am a successful and respected priest would be a worse sin than that committed by the bungling of some church bureaucrats. He pointed out that 4 months of uncertainty should not bring to an end 16 years of faithful and effective ministry.

So I have now turned another corner, that of anger. Who knows when or what the next corner will be.