You may not hint, you must not hint

Yesterday afternoon I put Ida on my MP3 player and walked to the mall to go Christmas shopping. I’m sorrowfully behind in Christmas shopping — usually I’m close to finished by the point in the year, just having a few people left to find things for. I guess I haven’t been out much, or haven’t been thoughtful, or have just had bad luck this year, because spontaneous gift-buying didn’t happen. I actually sort of enjoy shopping for things like gifts, when I’m not in a rush, though. I took the mall at a leisurely pace, and flirted with attractive female employees, and watched children and parents and teenagers, and it’s funny and I didn’t notice it at the time, but there were no old people. Weird.

One girl caught my eye (in the literal sense where she establishes eye contact with me, not merely the sense where I notice her and look at her) as I walked by, and pitched her product — a neat sort of head-massaging thing. She insisted that I allow her to demonstrate it on me. I did, and it was amazing. Also, she was sort of cute and really, really friendly, and I know that I was a prospective customer and it’s literally just her job to get me to like her and buy her product, but it felt nice to feel liked, even when you know. All of this is intensified by the fact that there’s physical massage-like contact. Anyway, she made a sale to me. I happened to walk by her station twice more over the course of the afternoon, and both times she initiated friendly flirty contact. We really were at the point where I think I could have non-creepily done something like asked for a name and phone number, but I didn’t follow through.

(One tricky complication with hitting on *complete* strangers when you’re my age: women my age can look a big variety of ages. If I were to hazard a guess, I’d say that the girl I’m talking about was 21. But she could easily have been 25. And there’s a non-zero probability she was 17. I’d be mortified if I asked a girl out, then discovered she was in high school.)

Anyway, I had a slow afternoon at the mall. I planned it that way — I even brought Prior’s book to read in the coffeeshop (I have a term paper on it to write this week). Then I came home, stopping for tea at Whole Foods. Have I mentioned that I really love good tea? Thank you, Savannah, for your contagious enthusiasm. I bought a box of Numi for myself, and four for my mother’s birthday, which is next weekend.

A couple more things I wanted to mention. One is an amazing experience I had from a used book seller at Amazon.com. Before Thanksgiving, I ordered a used copy of Kendall Walton’s Mimesis as Make-Believe. It arrived very quickly, and very well-wrapped, and generally in nice condition, but it had pencil-writings in the margins, when it’d been advertised not to. I wrote to the seller:

> Hi Tony,

Thank you for the very prompt shipment. The book arrived sooner than
I expected, and very professionally wrapped. And in general, the
quality is excellent. I do feel that I should let you know, however,
that the pages were not entirely unmarked, as advertised. I chose
your listing over two cheaper ones because yours advertised no writing
on the pages. I like to mark up my books myself, so that’s important
to me — so I was somewhat disappointed to find margin notes and
underlines throughout the first fifteen pages or so.

It’s not a huge deal — only the beginning seems to be affected, and a
few minutes with an eraser did the trick — but I guess I’d just
suggest being more careful about advertising pencil-free used books.

Take care,

Jonathan

I wasn’t asking for money back, or even really complaining — it was just a “hey, be careful, because I’m a little disappointed”. I didn’t *think* the guy had a policy of being deceitful about the quality of his books. I guess I didn’t really expect a reply at all — or maybe just an apology and excuse. Here’s the rest of our exchange:

Hello Jonathan-

Thanks for your note. I appreciate you taking the time to write and
letting me know of your disappointment with the condition of the book.
It is my disappointment, too, and I apologize for not being more
careful in inspecting the book before listing.

I’m usually pretty good about describing condition accurately and
completely, most of the time to the point of actually counting and
disclosing the actual number of pages that have highlighting or marks.
I do a flip-through of the pages to see if any marks or highlights jump
out, and then start counting. I must have gone too quickly to notice
the pencil marks in the beginning of the book.

I buy books online as well as sell. I know what its like to receive a
book in less than described condition and have to take time to write
back and possibly have to deal with someone who is indifferent or
hostile to the situation. It’s extra time and stress and not what I
want as part of any transaction.

This was my mistake and I want to make it right for you, so I’m going
to do a full refund, book and shipping costs. I’ll contact Amazon right
now and make the arrangement. I believe they will send you a separate
confirmation by email. I hope that will make up for the inconvenience
and time you took to write and erase marks in pages.

Thanks again for writing and for allowing me the opportunity to try to
make up for my mistake.

Tony

Tony, that’s really very generous of you, but it’s not necessary.
I’ve made the erasings, and started marking the book up for myself,
already.

Are you able to do a partial refund? Maybe just a few dollars’ worth?
The shipping cost, perhaps? I’d gladly take that, if that’s
convenient. And if it’s not, that’s ok too. I do understand that
things like this happen, and I’m not upset about it. You’re *clearly*
one of the good guys, in terms of internet sales.

Jonathan-

Thanks. That’s a very kind reply. My conscience tends to outweigh any
business sense, but I’d rather err in favor of the customer. Its the
way I’d want to be treated by others.

I’ll refund the shipping, plus a few bucks off the price of the book.
Thanks for your generosity of understanding. A happy holiday season to
you and best wishes for success with your studies.

Then I got a notice that he’d refunded $10 of the $23.75 I’d spent. What a really classy seller. That sort of thing makes one feel good about mankind.

And then one goes and reads news stories like this one, and it all goes away again.

Today: football with Emily! My new goals for the rest of the season include the Lions managing to sneak into the playoffs, the Chargers winning the AFC west, the Eagles losing the NFC Championship, the Colts winning the Super Bowl, and the 49ers defying odds and managing to win another game this season.