The Vampires in your Closet

I have no idea why I chose this title, but it seemed very appropriate.

It’s no secret I’ve neglected this diary for the past 8 months or so. Why I keep it running is a mystery, but there’s something to be said for nostalgia, regardless.

I find I set myself up for failure so often. Or perhaps it’s not a set-up, but rather a delusion of grandeur. I know that too often I become afraid of failure and turn in my jersey. Is this better than failing? Probably not. Certainly not. In fact, it’s probably worse.

But what if you had a 50/50 shot at success? If you failed, though, you were left penniless and completely and utterly lost. If your 50/50 shot had the chance of ruining your life? What then? Is it worth that risk? I can’t decide. I’m thinking it might not be. Do you give a little now to get more later? Or do you give a lot now to hope you get even more?

And so the queen of ambiguity bids you adieu, perhaps for another 8 months, perhaps for a week.

Always,
Afton

and don’t get any silly notions in your head that this is about some kind of idealistic love. It’s not. It’s about my future plain and simple.

I think the question is ‘are you happy to live with nothing’ if the answers yes like it is for me, then yeah its worth a 50/50 gamble! if you are content, then maybe not. I used to drop in and read your diary, although i dont think i ever noted because im not as interlectually sound as you and im very hypocritical. its nice to see you about again. A. x formerly [1stonestanding]

Probably have to make little goals to accomplish so it doesn’t feel like a 50/50 chance.

some people risk it all on a lot less than 50/50 chances good to see you finally wrote an entry 😉

Yeah, I feel you. Do you ever feel like people are just waiting for you to mess up? I feel like that a majority of the time. Everyone expects greatness so they don’t feel we need their support- as if we never doubt ourselves and our path.

Hello… it’s ..vanity.. from that diary with all the poetry you used to note on. Maybe you don’t remember, but I remember, and I’ve missed your presence. I hope you’re doing well. I like what I’ve read of your discussions and what you’ve written lately. Please note me back! I would love your opinion on some of my later poetry 🙂 ~..vanity..

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