…I See A Darkness

Well, you’re my friend, (that’s what you told me)
And can you see (what’s inside of me)
Many times we’ve been out drinking
And many times we’ve shared our thoughts
But did you ever, ever notice, the kind of thoughts I got
Well you know I have a love, a love for everyone I know
And you know I have a drive to live I won’t let go
But could you see its opposition comes arising up sometimes
That its dreadful antiposition comes blacking in my mind

And then I see a darkness
And then I see a darkness
And then I see a darkness
And then I see a darkness
And did you know how much I love you
Is a hope that somehow you, you
Can save me from this darkness

("I See A Darkness" – Bonnie ‘Prince’ Billie)

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Love is all.

It is what we, and I, have been searching for since we (and I) opened our eyes to this world so many years ago.

It is what we’ve found in our friends, and our families, and the strangers we hold onto and trust in ways that we don’t bother to process in the present. The people that surround us and remind us that we’re here, whether we lock eyes, trade words, fuck, or not.

The hardest part of doing all of this unnecessary, self-indulgent, often flowery and slightly whiny internet writing is admitting when you don’t have a whole lot to say. I can say for sure that, right now, I don’t.

Just this bit:

I feel like I have nothing to say but I love all of you. I really do. When I sit awake at night I’m thinking about you, and I wish I could have been a better friend to everyone. I wish that I could have gotten over myself enough to let you know. Before it was too late (ie,  now).  I’ve spent a long time staring into the darkness. Years and years of it, and all along I just wanted to let you know how much I love you.

Getting late again.

I’ll be around.