patching things up.

today dr. beck recomended to me that i try meditation.
i was less than thrilled with the prospect.
but he gave me a book on naikan meditation, which is a japanese zen/buddhist tradition going back a bunch of centuries.
it involves looking through one’s life to examine what one has to be grateful for. and not from other people, really.
"what have i been given by….." the chair, or the door, or joe, or the lawn, or monica. it’s not specific to living things, but to finding an appreciation for everything you have.
to be able to focus exclusively on what is happening around you, without regard for the past or the future. 

in other words, as long as you’re living as well as you can on a day to day basis, those days will eventually turn into a satisfying life to look back on, and a future you don’t have to worry about.

as i haven’t finished the book, the jury is still out on this one.
but, i won’t lie, it seems like a neat idea. one that is greatly attractive to me.

-jav