A joy you can’t keep in…

I’ve had an interesting few months. I think details aren’t really important at this point, but here are a few highlights:

I’m just so happy. He makes me happy. I never would have imagined in a million years that I would get this sort of happiness ever again. And this time, it’s real. It’s not fabricated. I’m so in love. I can’t even…comprehend it half the time. I hate to be gooey about it but it’s all so true. It’s like the puzzle pieces just came together and the end result was a connection I’ve never had before. I’ve gained so much from it.

I’ve lost a lot, too. I can’t help that. The new year started off with one major loss. I feel the pangs still. I’m not entirely sure it was handled the right way and I think things could have ended a lot better but what was said was said and it hurt a lot. One day I’ll be willing to go back down that road, but for now, I’m going to go on with life and living it the best way I know how.

So, I changed schools again. The economy hasn’t been kind to me and I couldn’t afford to stay in Manhattan any longer. This is the last time, though. I’m tired and I’m ready to be done so I can start my life. The life I’ve desperately wanted and finally get to have. The school is amazing. I have no words to describe how much better I fit at this one.

I’m also going to be Godmother in April. Maria’s bun is in the oven and is scheduled to pop out in 11 weeks. I’m excited. Really, really excited. I think she’s going to be an amazing Mommy and I can’t wait to see how much she grows from it.

Life is good. Yes, there are missing peices that I wish weren’t missing, even if they were a bit misplaced for a while before they went away for good, but my life is good and I appreciate every second of it.

Set Fire to the Third Bar

Snow Patrol

I find the map and draw a straight line
Over rivers, farms, and state lines
The distance from ‘A’ to where you’d be
It’s only finger-lengths that I see
I touch the place where I’d find your face
My finger in creases of distant dark places

I hang my coat up in the first bar
There is no peace that I’ve found so far
The laughter penetrates my silence
As drunken men find flaws in science

Their words mostly noises
Ghosts with just voices
Your words in my memory
Are like music to me

I’m miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground
I, I pray that something picks me up
And sets me down in your warm arms

After I have travelled so far
We’d set the fire to the third bar
We’d share each other like an island
Until exhausted, close our eyelids
And dreaming, pick up from
The last place we left off
Your soft skin is weeping
A joy you can’t keep in

I’m miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground
And I, I pray that something picks me up
and sets me down in your warm arms

I’m miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground
and I, I pray that something picks me up
and sets me down in your warm arms