In the wake of yesterday *edit*
I don’t know where I am right now. I have amazing friends, they’ve helped me through a lot. I’m upset about a lot of things. The friends that aren’t so amazing, leaving next Friday, family issues, and other things. I don’t know what’s going on in my head, and I don’t know that I like the way I feel right now. I said a lot of things that I really, truly meant last night to two amazing people, and I know for sure that they will take what I said to the grave. Not a lot of people are like that. I love him. I love her. 
I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing with myself right now. I just feel sort of lost and helpless in that area. Too many thoughts, too little time to disect it all.
I’m also withdrawing because I don’t want to burden other people with my brain-issues. That’s what I do. Get upset, run away, fix it, come back and act like nothing happened. Repeat. I’m good like that.
Right now, it’s just too hard to do. I need support.
Why is it that I help everyone, hold their hair back, keep them from stumbling…but when I need that help, when I need that friend, they aren’t here for me? I’m so angry at [someone] for being a leech. I don’t appreciate being taken for granted. I don’t mind being stabbed in the back, I don’t mind all the SHIT she puts me through…but when she sits there, and lets me drink as much as I did and just laugh at how fucked up I’m becoming…that’s not a friend. That’s just wrong. I needed help last night, and there were only TWO people willing to step up and truly sit with me through all of my ramblings, and crying. But at least I have the two of them (glass half full, right?).
It still hurts to know that you care about someone and they don’t give two shits back about you, and they only need you when the time is right.
Well, fuck her.
I’m trying not to piss and moan, but there is a lot of stuff going on around me and I just don’t know how much I can take.
"You can’t hold the whole world on your shoulders." – Danielle
Yeah, well, tell the world that.
Fuck me, this was supposed to help me vent. Now I’m just more angry.
*wanders off, bitter and angry*
*edit*
New diary layout, by the way.