+Holy Week

I’m really looking forward to Easter this year!  Well, I always look forward to Easter, but this time is special.

For one, it’s been a real pleasure to work with Keith.  I know I’ve barely mentioned him (I had to look up the diary name I’d given him), but we’ve really hit it off.  He’s the guy I’m sponsoring for baptism this year, and he’s very enthusiastic and into it.  He’s also a few years older than me, which makes it weird to think him as my  "godson". 🙂

I take sponsoring people very seriously.  Usually when I tell people I’d like to meet with them weekly, they act like it’s a burden.  One more hurdle to clear out of the way.  But Keith has been very positive about it, has bombarded me with questions, has welcomed prayer together, and generally has been terrific to be around.  He’s grown quite a lot in the last months, too.  (He started out from near-zero when it comes to Christianity.  He’d read the Bible a bit, without much comprehension – I know the feeling – and some Thomas Merton.)

Keith works nights (that’s why I’ve been going to the morning RCIA sessions, if you recall) but makes a real effort to make it to daily Mass at least a few times a week.  Who knows what this guy will be like once he’s fully "in"?! 🙂

Speaking of the morning sessions, Fr. Jesse has become very positive about working with me, and keeps talking about having me help run a more organized, year-round Inquiry session and/or morning RCIA session (I’m not totally clear on which) in the coming year.  I’ve told him that I’m not positive I’ll be around next year (though not why) but he still keeps talking it up, so that’s interesting.

There’s another catechumen I’ve gotten to know pretty well. I’ll call him Dan.  He came to the process late, and I felt drawn to him from the very first.  I invited him out to lunch, and we hit it off;  we’ve made it a weekly event.  (Which practically makes me a second sponsor for him, I suppose.)  Dan’s had a very troubled past, and is plagued with health problems at the moment, though the prognosis is good.  He’s pretty much got his life back on track, and is impressively fervent and devout.  I can’t WAIT to see him and Keith baptized!

Both he and Keith have expressed some interest in the People of Praise, too.  We’ll see what comes of that.

Then there’s Mark.  Is there ever. 🙂

Things are popping with that lad in a HUGE way.  And I’ve been in the thick of it.  I’ve never really been in quite this situation before and it’s both wonderful and a little terrifying. 🙂  Mark is blossoming so fast that you almost need hourly updates to keep track of where he is. 🙂

Put it this way.  In our first meeting, when I spoke to him about loving God, he told me frankly that he’d never really thought of God that way and wasn’t even sure how to go about it.  That was, what, two weeks ago?  In our most recent meeting, I reminded him of that, and he stared at me blankly and said, "I SAID that?!" 🙂

I have been able to give him counsel (and also, I think, a couple words from the Lord) that has, he says, helped him enormously.  (He’s been working through a lot of self-hate issues, apparently successfully.)  I’ve been able to answer a lot of his questions – he’s becoming positively hungry for knowledge.  And I’ve been able to challenge him to spend more time with God which he has, in fits and starts, been responding to.  Needless to say, he’s taking off like a rocket.  Other people are noticing, too.  Chris (who is the father of one of Mark’s good friends) told me he spoke on the phone with Mark the other day and that he sounded happier than he had ever known him to be.  (When I mentioned this to Mark, he said, "Well, it’s true!" 🙂

Our relationship has proceeded apace also.  Put it this way:  He came to our first meeting curious and maybe a little nervous.  When we parted, he said, "I’d like to meet with you weekly until I leave."  After our second meeting (and our dinner of celebration, which was terrific), he said, "I want to be sure to stay in touch with you AFTER I leave!"  Now… Well, I can only guess about his feelings, but I’m thinking of him more of a brother – in the fullest sense – than a friend any more.  It’s rare for me to get so close to someone so fast… another case of "falling in Love", I guess.  Thing is, it’s reciprocated, and that’s extremely gratifying!  (We exchange these amazing bone-crushing hugs which are most often his idea, though sometimes mine.)

But also, as I said, a little terrifying.  It’s tremendously flattering and boosting to be able to share hard-won experience and wisdom with someone, have them put it to work in their life, immediately profit from it, and be profoundly grateful.  But I’m a little wary of those feelings.  I see a danger – though it’s minimal, I think, so long as I’m keeping my eye on the possibility – of becoming a guru rather than a friend and a brother.  And far worse yet, of power-tripping.  Which is THE VERY LAST THING I want to see happen, so by the grace of God probably it won’t.  But I know and mistrust my makeup in this regard.

Given these possibilities, it’s probably for the best that he’s moving in a month or so, though I’ll miss him a lot.  He needs to get out on his own and try his wings anyway.  I’ve been encouraging him to do everything he can to form good habits of prayer now while the honeymoon is on, and he’s seen the sense in that.  I think he’ll be in good stead when the inevitable slowdown (hopefully not backlash) occurs.  And of course we’ll stay in touch by emails and the occasional phone call and visit.

It’s pretty clear that the Lord sent us to each other.  Obviously Mark has gained a lot from our relationship. (I can’t believe I’ve only met with him, what, four times?  And occasional run-ins at Mass.)  He himself says that while the Lord was definitely working on him in a big way, I gave him the kick in the pants he needed to improve a lot of things much faster than he would have on his own.

But I’ve gained a lot from Mark, too.  Confidence, for one.  I now feel much more assured that I can evangelize and even mentor people successfully.  Sure, I’ve talked with a lot of my students about God, but I haven’t seen much happen.  I don’t doubt that I’ve planted seeds, but one does wonder.  It’s impossible to deny, though, that Mark has grown by leaps and bounds in the space of a few weeks, and that the Lord has made heavy use of me in that.

I’ve also expressed a lot of wisdom to him that I hadn’t fully realized I possessed.  I find myself giving him counsel that rings bells in my own heart.  As I said before, I haven’t fully internalized a lot of stuff that is nonetheless true and useful.  Time for me to take some of it further on board, for sure.  It’s no secret that I’ve got self-hate problems of my own, to name just one thing.  (I am SO glad Mark is getting a leg up on that stuff NOW, rather than carrying it around for the next twenty years or more!  It’s so much easier to work through it when you’re younger and have fewer ruts in the brain!)

And I’ve been feeling more and more frustrated with living alone the last few months.  Not lonely exactly… it’s more that I feel like I’ve accomplished all that I can in my current living situation.  And then some, to be honest.  I think it would be very healthy for me to live with people who share a common commitment and passion.  And while I don’t yet have that, the friendships I’ve formed with Keith, Dan, and Mark have given me a taste.  We’ll see what comes of that!

Thank you, Beloved, for the people you’ve placed in my life.  Thank you for placing me in theirs.  Please, let my words be filled with your Word, my silences echo with the density of your Love, and my touch be the healing touch of your Son.  Show me how to give without counting the cost; to rejoice heartily with those who rejoice; and to mourn deeply with those who mourn.

I accept your Spirit, Abba.  I accept your Spirit, Beloved.  Blow in me as you will.