need advice!

Um. Ya. it’s Friday and despite talking to John yesterday there was still no mention of him asking me to do something this weekend. WTF? I mean- I know that the suggested came up from some of you gals that I should ask HIM, but here’s the thing- I’m kind of putting my foot down because:

* in the 3 months we’ve been dating, he’s asked me out on ONE “date” where we went to go eat (and it was lunch) pizza and he paid, etc. Even on that date- we met there- he did not pick me up. And then we went to dinner for his sister’s bday but that was his whole family there! I want the whole first date things- I want him to ask me on a date (fancy and expensive NOT necessary), pick me up, pay for me, and not have it end up at the bars drunk with our friends. Yes, we’ve “done” stuff together, like ice skating or gone to parties- but that was ME inviting him, there was always drinking involved, and we were never alone. And watching a movie at my house on the couch alone does not count as a first date!
 
* he didn’t get me anything for my bday. Not even a card. Not even after I told him that it kind of hurt my feelings that my guy roommate got me a card and a balloon and he didn’t even get me a card. After he apologized and said “I’ll make it up to you” back in December- I haven’t seen diddly squat for him to “make it up to me”.  This may seem trivial- but to me it’s an indication of what’s to come. If this is how I’m being treated in the beginning- what does this mean for the future?
 
And..
 
Disclaimer: this might be “TMI” but I have to get it out:
* and here’s the kicker (NML PLEASE don’t say anything about this to anyone obviously!)..it’s been 3 months and we have not had sex. And for a while it was because I wanted to wait and he never pressured me. BUT…then we finally got to that point, and we have tried…3 TIMES now…and he can’t (for lack of better words) “get it up”.  The first time, I thought it was because he was drunk. The second time he said that “this has happened before his first time with someone new and that he hadn’t been with that many girls”. The third time around, I got frustrated and upset. I mean- the guy has a daughter- so it’s “worked” before. And how am I not supposed to feel like somehow it’s me? That I don’t turn him on?  He said that’s it not that and that it’s not me and that he really cares about me. But then when I tried to talk to him about it he completely shut down emotionally and just kept saying “I don’t know”. So then I left it alone and we just went to bed. And then the next time I spent the night at his house, we barely kissed and just went to sleep. And I’m sure it’s cause he’s nervous, and I’m sure it’s the WORST thing that could happen to a guy, and I’m sure he thinks that if we fool around it’s gonna have to lead to something else and he doesn’t want to not be able to perform again,  but it’s also not fair to me. I feel like I can’t even be affectionate to my boyfriend in the bedroom cause I don’t want him to think that I’m pressuring him. But I don’t want to just “roll over and go to sleep”. We’re in a new relationship- this is supposed to be fun, and exciting, and we’re supposed to be all over eachother. And instead I find myself saying to myself “well- I guess I don’t have to shave today”. Ugh- it’s frustrating, it’s upsetting, it’s stressful and worst of all I have no idea how to handle it. I’ve always had the opposite problem where the physical connection was there with a guy but not the emotional. So I tried to handle it as best as I know how. I waited a few days and wrote him an email explaining how I felt, how I am not mad and want to work through this, how I care about him, etc. I said in it that “we don’t have to talk about this right away- we can wait till your ready – but I just wanted to get it out”. Well, a week later- and after I know that he’s gotten it cause he’s responded to other stupid forwards I’ve sent and pictures from NYE I sent him, etc. there has been NO WORD. Not even acknowledgement that he got it. And so much is going through my head- why hasn’t he tried to figure out what’s “wrong” sexually, why is he being closed off, why isn’t he trying to “make up for it” in other ways and build my confidence in other ways to assure me that it’s not me, why is it me that is the only one who seems to be addressing that this is an issue- and most of all…. If he can’t even talk to me about this then what does this mean for the future? I just don’t know what to do next and I feel like I’ve done my part with the sex talk and I’m not addressing it again.
 
And this my friends is why I feel like I’m kind of at my whit’s end. At this point, how are we any different than “friends”? What makes me his “girlfriend”??  and aside from having a blast with him and knowing that he will call every day more than once and would never cheat….what’s “in it for me”?? I just don’t know anymore…
 
Gosh it felt good to get that all out. Any advice would be much appreciated!