My head is all over the place

So this is how it ends
This is where it all goes down
This is what "I don’t love you" feels like

It ain’t the middle of the night
And it ain’t even raining outside
It ain’t exactly what I had in mind
For goodbye…

 
Gosh- that song gets me! I am just in a very weird place right now. Trying to move on and get over Joe. And It just all seems to have ended so weird…not how I had expected…again. I know I should have seen it comin from miles away. People don’t change. And yes, deep down I knew that his way of dealing with things, his thought process, etc. was just always “off”. But it is still hard! And it just wasn’t how I would have expected it to end this time!
 
 I look back to May of this year, and I was just so blissful. Things were going great with work, I was out in LA visiting one of my best friends, I was having fun, and Joe was away for work- but I was on his mind. And He was texting me, and saying sweet things, and missing me. And everything just felt right. And it was just all.so.brief.
 
And then here I am now. And I should be happy- work is going well, I’m still having fun, I have so much to be happy about, etc. and things are even going better with David (we had a talk on Sunday- I will explain more later), and should be excited about him- but I don’t even know how I feel. And I should be fine. But I’m not. And I would hate to think that Joe would have this much affect on me- and I don’t’ even think that it is necessarily him. I just have had this “anxious” feeling for the past few days and I wish it would go away. My head is just all over the place right now…