And then the shoe falls… **with edit**

And then the bad news comes…

My texts with Joe this morning at 9am:
 
J: “I’m sorry to go out just one then leave but just found out yesterday that I’m heading to Dubai for 5 weeks this Saturday. Just didn’t want you to think I’m MIA”
(he works overseas a lot, but usually sporadically and only for a week)
 
Me: “ Thanks for letting me know. That stinks but I know how work can be…”
 
J: “not sure if you remember but I told you last week that I may be going there. Just didn’t think it would be this soon 🙁 “
 
Me: “Yea- I was thinking the same thing 🙁  Well, talk to you when u get back I guess?”
 
J: “of course we will still talk – even when I’m there. Guess no booty calls though;) haha”
 
Me: “haha- yea, overseas booty calls would be a whole different ball game! This sucks..”
 
Bla bla bla and then we were just joking around back and forth…
 
Ugh- this sucks! I mean- I go out wthi this guy that I havne’t seen in a YEAR, have a great time, think we might have a “second chance”, and then this happens.  So many things are running through my head right now- I’m sad – he’s going to be gone for over a month. And then part of me is like “well, you’re not leaving for 4 days and you don’t want to see me before you leave and you told me this via text”- so that kind of sucks. Ugh- all I know is that I’m sad.
 
Not to sound like debbie downer here or anything, but seriously? Every time I feel like everything is great and I’m on a “high” I have this fear of sharing those feelings/stories with other people because it feels like it’s too good to be true and that it’s not going to last. And then BOOM – I’m right. If you read a few entries back, I felt like I was on top of the world. And then things started going south- Chase (the one I liked the best) just stopped contacting me, I never heard back from J. Ryan, and now Joe is leaving for a month! I’m not saying that my life’s happiness revolves around men, and by no means am I taking for granted that Matt and I are still talking and going out this weekend and he’s a great guy. What I hate is that that feeling – that “everything is going well right now and life couldn’t be better” feeling is just always so temporary for me. Maybe that’s my fault? Maybe I should stop whining and appreciate what I do have? Maybe life is all about chasing “that high” and sustaining it every day is impossible? I don’t know. All I know is that once again- it all felt to good to be true…because.it.was.
 
**Edit**
he said he wants to see me before I go:) He knew that I have dinner plans Thursday night (my friend B is coming in town and only available that night- haven’t seen her in 5 years! ), but wanted to see if I wanted to meet up for a drink afterwards so that he can see me before he goes. Aww…that makes me feel better! At least I will get to say goodbye and it means alot that he’s fitting me into the 4 days he has before he goes 😉